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Apr11

Level Up: Dying Light

by tonyd on April 11, 2016 at 12:01 am

Dying_Light_cover

By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=39749522

As a big fan of zombies and an even bigger fan of zombie video games, I may have gotten my hopes too high for Dying Light.  All the press was pretty positive.  Quite frankly, I couldn’t find one negative review of it.  But if the guy at the store had said something like, “This combines zombies and parkour.”  I probably would’ve rethought my purchase.

It’s sort of ironic, really.  Watching the Walking Dead, one of my major complaints is that the character don’t take advantage of the high ground against the zombies.  I mean, there definitely are some positive attributes of Dying Light:

The graphics are top notch, the action against the regular zombies is grueling and the weapon upgrades (as they were are Dead Island) are pretty good.  If I could just play the game against regular zombies and slowly take back territory, it would be awesome.

The problem is the story.  Kyle Crane parachutes into a fictional Middle Eastern country to steal back a file.  I guess the creators wanted to add elements of Call of Duty.  The characters that are trapped in the city of zombies are almost secondary.  This game had such a potential to turn the whole zombie apocalypse into a metaphor for real life events and from what I see, it just turns into a regular game.  The controls were clunky.  Maybe I’m just bad at it, but I had a really hard time learning the timing of the leaps and climbs.  Seems to me they could’ve been easier.

Anyhow, Kyle gets in good with a group which has already become like a zombie military squadron.  No one seems to have a plan to get out, only to stay.  The U.N. keeps making drops of supplies, including a drug that can keep people from turning into a zombie.  (It was incredibly annoying that the game kept constantly telling me I was missing U.N. drops.)  But everyone’s already infected.  This begs the question, why would Kyle go on this suicide mission?  In one of the early tasks, I had to locate a drop of medicine, but in order to force Kyle’s new handlers into a position where they need to negotiate with a tougher group, he’s order to burn the medicine.  I thought it was a dumb move.  Why not hide it?  The game gives you no choice and you quickly burn it all but one vial.

The deal is made with the other group and after several hours of grueling, confusing play, I started working for a new guy.  All the time, I’m supposedly looking for a file, while undercover in the zombie apocalypse.  The file mission, for me, is just an annoying distraction.  It was much better on Dead Island (same makers btw) when you are on vacation and end up having to fight you way out.  That made sense.  I also liked that Dead Island didn’t have a lot of special zombies.  I hate the special zombies.

Dying Light introduces the special zombies a few missions into the game.  They are nearly impossible to kill, plus they made no sense to me.  That’s the one thing I like about the Walking Dead, all the zombies are of equal power.  The parkour zombies really annoyed me.  It completely canceled out using the high ground.  What was the point if every once in a while a parkour zombie would show.  Plus, the defenses of the safe zone were all about height, so why undermine your own concept with parkour zombies that can climb.

Another feature is that the zombies are more active and stronger at night.  I found a quick solution for that (for as long as I played), go to sleep in a safe zone until it was dark.  I’m sure some of the missions were going to force me back out at night, but whatevs.  Another feature is multiplayer.  The game was constantly asking me to switch over and I accidentally did once.  I hadn’t mastered even getting on a roof and I was quickly outmatched by the rest of the group.  Then the game constantly asked me if I wanted to go back to multiplayer.  I just wanted to finish the story first!

Maybe it’s my low attention span, but the learning curve was high, satisfaction low and the plot was just confusing as Hell.  But one of my major gripes with the game is that once of the resources you need is string.  Bad choice Dying Light.  String is literally everywhere, especially in a city.  Yet, somehow, after I saved a fishing village: no string to be found.  It’s a pretty important resource too, allowing you to make throwing stars and other things.  Really bad choice on the resource.  Plus, the game is so nicely detailed, there’s trash everywhere.  String is in a ridiculous amount of products, especially clothing.  The whole thing just annoyed me.

Add to that, the climbing challenges and I had enough.  I wanted to fight zombies, not playing Crazy Climber.  The final straw was when I tried to do a mission at a gas station with no gun against a survivor that had a guy and some grenades (I think).  Now for the entire game, every time I made too much noise, the zombies headed my way and/or a special zombie attacked.  I figured, let this guy shoot at me and then get out of the way while the zombies tear him to pieces.  No such luck.  The game created a temporary “safe zone” for the boss fight.  Talk about cheesy.

I threw up my hands and put in Just Cause 3.  In no time, JC3 had me blowing up stuff.  This is exactly the fun I was looking for.  While everything felt forced in Dying Light, JC3 was on point in entertaining the Hell out of me during the opening credits.

I give Dying Light 4.5 out of 10 keggers.  They really needed a rewrite in this gamer’s opinion.

kegkegkegkeghalfkeg

 

└ Tags: Dying Light, guns, Just Cause 3, Kyle Crane, Level Up, parkour, rating, review, roofs, Super Frat, The Walking Dead, Tony DiGerolamo, video games, zombies
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Apr10

Your Fratoscope: April 10, 2016

by tonyd on April 10, 2016 at 12:32 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  Your birthday cake will have three typos.

Aries:  Your robot gains sentience and ruins your credit score.

Taurus:  The stars say, that’s not glaze on your donut.

Gemini:  You will be punched by the next person at your front door, so pray for girl scouts.

Lemini:  Your gambling problem will cured by your horrible heroin addiction.

Cancer:  Your ninja room makes throwing stars out of your Nickelback CD’s.

Leo:  This week, your baker will make you a racist scone.

Virgo:  You will discover a way to work creampuffs into your crossfit.

Libra:  You will accidentally register as a Republican and immediately get a check for $5000.

Scorpio:  You will develop a sensual app.

Sagittarius:  Your roommate will insist that you can only drink the bottom half of the milk.

Capricorn:  Batman will save you during the mini mart robbery, but insist you buy him a hotdog.

Aquarius:  You will have a flashback to that atomic wedgie you got in 4th grade.

Pisces:  Your diet makes you weep when you walk past the new cupcake store.

└ Tags: Aquarus, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, frat boy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scoprio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, zodiac
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Apr09

Fat Guy Eats: Chef Chun Chinese Restaurant

by tonyd on April 9, 2016 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Restaurant:  Chef Chun Chinese Restaurant

Address:  415 Egg Harbor Rd, Sewell, NJ 08080

Food:  Very Good*

Price:  Average

Portions:  Average

Taste:  Very Good*

Service:  Slow

Atmosphere:  Chinese Restaurant

Chef Chun got some really good reviews online, so me and the Missus picked it out to try.  We had some problems.

First, the table was a little sticky.  Always a bad sign.  The place was crowded, but most people were doing take out.  There had to be 10 bags waiting for pick up almost the entire time we were there.  (Not the same bags, mind you, they just kept coming.)  So obviously, the kitchen was slammed despite the fact there were only about 12 or 15 sticky tables in the place.  There seemed to be enough staff to cover the table, but for some reason everyone was covering the menus and cash register.  Our waitress was new and clearly overwhelmed.  Why they allowed her to cover a table of 12 is beyond me.  She couldn’t keep up and the real kicker was, the other waitresses looked like they didn’t have much to do.  While she was trying to rush (and I say trying because she kinda wasn’t succeeding at that) the other wait staff looked kinda bored at some points.

It took forever for us to get water and noodles.  Our overwhelmed waitress finally took our order and it took forever to get our food.  The House Won Ton soup was amazing.  Won Tons, scallions, water chestnuts, baby corn, carrot—  It was delicious and worth two bowls.  Next up, the chicken, shrimp and cilantro dumplings.  Sublime.  I was beginning to forgive all the missteps and see why it got such a great rating.  The Missus got the Four Seasons.  It was cooked perfectly.

Finally, I got my General Tso’s Delight and it was—  Overcooked.  Ugh.  The chicken had be fried to Hell.  The shrimp and broccoli were perfect, but the chicken was bad.  I’ve just had some leftover now and it’s kinda sitting in the pit of my stomach.  Clearly, the chef either dropped the ball or just go overwhelmed with all the orders.  Either way, Chef Chun’s, in my opinion, could be a great take out place, but I wouldn’t recommend the sit down.  The staff needs more training.  They have enough people, so if they got organized the could cover it.

And I’m normally a 20% tipper, but I had to penalize the waitress and drop closer to 15%.

I give the Chef Chun Chinese Restaurant 6 out of 10 keggers.  Strictly for take out, I’d go to 7 or 8.  After those dumplings, I’d definitely give the food another shot, but there’s no way I’m going back to sit in that restaurant unless they announce new management or something.  It really kills the vibe for me.

kegkegkegkegkegkeg

└ Tags: Chef Chun, Chinese Restaurant, dumplings, Fat Guy Eats, Four Seasons, General Tso's, NJ, rating, restaurant, review, Sewell, South Jersey, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, water chestnuts, Won Ton soup
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Apr08

Rewritten Headlines: Slick Willie to Severed Body Parts

by tonyd on April 8, 2016 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Former Politician Pretends He Made a Difference

Gang of Teenage Girls Rob Houses

Companies Look to Purchase Dead Websites and Old Email Addresses

Shitty Show Probably to be Shitty Video Game

Man Doesn’t Appreciate Free Fertilizer

Anger Management Not Working

Middle School Way More Intense These Days

Gas Crisis Still Happening

Race of Giants to be Born in America

Dexter Wants to go Camping

 

 

└ Tags: Babies, Bill Clinton, Charlie Sheen, current events, Dexter, farts, fat, front lawn, gas, headlines, meth, middle school, News, poop, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, robbers, selfie, Super Frat, The Walking Dead, Tony DiGerolamo, video games, Yahoo
Comments Off on Rewritten Headlines: Slick Willie to Severed Body Parts
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