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Jul15

Rewritten Headlines: French GPS to Dick Biting

by tonyd on July 15, 2016 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

French GPS Malfunctions

Irony Probably Lost on Criminal

Douchebag Hires Dickhead

Hold My Beer

Ernest Hemmingway Reincarnated

Old Woman Can’t Shut Up

We’re All Gonna Die

Really Catching Them All

Pooh Desperate For Honey

Dick Biting Alert

└ Tags: bear, cheating, comedy, Donald Trump, douchebag, Ernest Hemmingway, fish, France, funny, Ginsberg, GPS, humor, irony, Mike Pence, Pokemon Go, Pooh, Rewritten Headlines, shark, Super Frat, testicle, Tony DiGerolamo, Virginia Beach, West Nile virus
Comments Off on Rewritten Headlines: French GPS to Dick Biting
Jul13

Twitter in Focus: Jay Chandrasekhar

by tonyd on July 13, 2016 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is Jay Chandrasekhar of Broken Lizard, AKA: the Super Trooper movie (soon to be a sequel).  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@jaychandrasekha

June 26th:  “The McDonalds in the Detroit Airport serves Pepsi only. Gross.”

Ewwwwwwwwww!  Detroit!

June 27th:  “Can we stop covering this Brexit thing. As much as I try to care, (British accent) it’s a bit boring.”

Mary Poppins is so pissed, she said, “Fuck!” like seventeen times.

June 28th:  “Buddy Ryan was a true artist.”

And he never skipped a meal.  But probably did skip several parent-teacher meetings.

June 29th:  “I’m deeply sick of this terrorism. A bit furious.”

Hey, if it weren’t for terrorism, people would just waltzing through airports with belts and shoes!  Do you want to live in a world like that?!  Do you?!

June 29th:  “Watched Caddyshack last night. Good fun. Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield going at it.”

Spalding-get-your-foot-off-the-boat!

July 1st:  “Loved that Joakim Noah.”

Meh.  Sports.

July 3rd:  “This sweep against the Mets will haunt us in October. That said watching the Mets fan get hit in the nose with home run ball was good fun.”

It’s all about the highlight reel.

July 7th:  “Arnold @Schwarzenegger ‘s interview on @HowardStern from ’15 is magical.”

I’m guess that’s when Howard grills him about the maid.

July 7th:  “Day one of the Mustache Grow.”

Man, you’re gonna have to wear a stash toupee to get that movie shot in time.

July 8th:  “Maybe if we ban the news, the bad news will stop coming.”

Finally, a suggestion that makes sense.  Then do the same to Facebook.

July 8th:  “This is such a silly tribute to Super Troopers. Love it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MXVhd-2qos …”

Wait, you mean this isn’t an actual clip?!

Okay, let’s rate Jay’s Tweets.  Was hoping to see more pics from behind-the-Scenes of Super Troopers 2, but oh well.  Have to wait for theaters.  I give Jay a 7 for Mustness, an 8 for Style and a 9 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 8.  Follow Jay and looks out for Super Troopers 2.

If you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

 

└ Tags: actor, Broken Lizard, comedian, comedy, director, funny, humor, Jay Chandrasekhar, rating, review, Super Frat, Super Troopers, Super Troopers 2, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
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Jul11

Fat Guy Eats: Il Giardino Sul Mare in Forked River, NJ

by tonyd on July 11, 2016 at 12:56 am

SF Tony Avatar

Restaurant:  Il Giardino Sul Mare in Forked River, NJ

Address: 2 Hollywood Boulevard, Forked River NJ

Food:  Italian

Price:  Slightly Above Average

Portions:  Just right

Taste:  Amazing

Service:  Phenomenal

Atmosphere:  Very Italian

Lucky me, another family dinner at a fancy place.  Sign me up!

My family loves Italian food and it’s rare that we go anywhere else.  That’s okay by me, but my bar for Italian food has gotten higher and higher over the years.  You better have some great red sauce and bread or my family will look elsewhere.

Il Giardino Sul Mare definitely has the atmosphere right.  It’s on the water, the menu is in Italian, light live music plays in the background while waiters scurry to and fro.  And scurry they did.  Javier, our waiter, was on it.  I grew tired just watching the man rush in and out of the party room for the 20 people we had at the table.  I watched in awe as individual salads and entrees were delivered simultaneously.  I could only imagine the insanity in the kitchen.  Plus the place was jam packed when we got there!

Normally, I will get Chicken Parmesan and be done with it.  But I like it with good French Fries and Il Giardino did not offer any.  No matter, I thought it time to up my game so I instead ordered Petto di Pollo Rollatine.  This was chicken wrapped with prosciutto, mozzarella, spinach, and artichoke hearts.  This was cooked in a wine cream sauce with tortellinis and peas.  Didn’t want the peas, but there weren’t that many and the other flavors pushed them right out anyway.

This was preceded by many appetizers for the table including Caprese, Eggplant Rollatine, Fried Calamari and red mussels.  All were good and I don’t normally eat mussels or calamari.  My only nitpicking complaint was that the bread got a little dry and crunchy, but in their defense, they did have to get several baskets for the table.  It was good bread though, so who cares?

Dessert was my mom-in-law’s birthday cake.  No idea how much it all was, but entrees hovered just under and over $20.  Everything was fresh and well-prepared.  Normally complaining relatives were raving about how good the food was and believe me, these people have had a ton of Italian food over the years.  Get yourselves to Forked River folks.  You won’t regret it.

Il Giardino Sul Mare in Forked River gets 9.5 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeghalfkeg

└ Tags: amazing, artichoke hearts, Caprese, chicken, cream sauce, Eggplant Rollatine, Fat Guy Eats, food, Forked River, Fried Calamari, Il Giardino Sul Mare, Italian, mozzarella, New Jersey, NJ, peas, Petto di Pollo Rollatine, prosciutto, rating, red mussels, restaurant, review, spinach, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, tortellinis
Comments Off on Fat Guy Eats: Il Giardino Sul Mare in Forked River, NJ
Jul10

Your Fratoscope: July 10, 2016

by tonyd on July 10, 2016 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  Your piñata will be full of cake and your cake will be made out of hollow cardboard and full of wrapped candy.

Aries:  A game of shuffleboard ends in another fistfight for you.

Taurus:  You’ll suddenly realize that you missed the last episode of The Sopranos, but don’t care.

Gemini:  This week, you’ll be mistaken for a famous person, unfortunately it will be Osama Bin Laden.

Lemini:  The lobster you attempt to boil escapes and starts sending you threatening emails.

Cancer:  The stars say, please cover the skylight in your house when you’re masturbating.  Stars don’t wanna see that.

Leo:  The garden gnomes near your house come to life and molest your action figure collection.

Virgo:  You will suddenly become obsessed with Wings Hauser.

Libra:  Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow.  Don’t stop.  It’ll soon be here.

Scorpio:  You will have sex with a time traveler only to realize halfway through it’s you from the future and you really know what you want.

Sagittarius:  Your pizza will be eight minutes late.

Capricorn:  Sick of Vine Videos, you develop a new app where the videos are only two seconds long, but grow tired of it before you can sell it.

Aquarius:  Donald Trump will stop by your place, invite himself in, knock over a few things and say, “It would be a shame if you didn’t vote for me and I had time to come back here.”

Pisces:  Video game avatar is forced to outsource all the work you give it to someone in India.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, cake, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow, Donald Trump, frat boy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, lobster, Pisces, pizza, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, The Sopranos, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Wings Hauser, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
Comments Off on Your Fratoscope: July 10, 2016
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