Mar17

Rewritten Headlines: Green Puke to Fart Discrimination

by tonyd on March 17, 2017 at 12:01 am

Vomit to Contain New Flavors

Oh, God, Nooooooo!

Old Man Has Old Ideas

Never Drink and Stock

A Truly Good Donation

Rob Reiner Training Monkeys

Planet of the Apes Soon to be Documentary

Pastor to Buy Entire Country

Normal Day at Florida Dunkin Donuts

Fart Discrimination

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Mar15

Twitter in Focus: John Lithgow

by tonyd on March 15, 2017 at 12:01 am

Hey bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is John Lithgow, actor, funny dude but I will always remember him as Dr. Emilio Lizardo!  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@JohnLithgow

February 13th:  “Mel Gibson and John Lithgow Join ‘Daddy’s Home’ Sequel via ”

Did not see the first one.  How will I follow it?!

February 28th:  “Answer: in my case, apparently not.” https://twitter.com/cigarboyrick82/status/836633184683048960

Best.  Gif.  Ever.

March 1st:  “Having a ball in NY for Here’s a cool interview:”

Nice.  I’ll have to check out the show.

March 2nd:  “Ready for ”

Is anyone ever ready for that much ass kissing?

March 3rd:  “My portrait of Jimmy’s dog Gary, presented to him tonight on ”

Nice.  That’s a fancy dog.

March 3rd:  “Knew nothing of this when asked. Apologies to and and wish them well. Thanks a lot .”

What a bunch of dicks at CNN.  Can no one have an opinion these days?

March 3rd:  “A happy year in my life. Xx to all.”

Did not know you did that.  That must’ve been a great show.

March 11th:  “End of a great time with this gang plus and on ”

Man, you’re in everything these days!

March 12th:  “So damn much fun.”

Rebel Wilson does look like a party.

18 hours ago:  “Not 1 but 2 eps of at 10 EST Tuesday on . Hilarious, yes, but a mystery: u can’t miss the start.”

Ah.  Gotta watch now.

6 hours ago:  “Boston: we needed snow for the 1st day of shooting on and look what we got.”

Damn, you just work, work, work.  Good for you, bro.

6 hours ago:  “Advise to the snowy Northeast: stay home tonight and watch 10PM on ”

Good advice.

Okay, let’s rate John Lithgow’s tweets.  He’s got it all.  Behind-the-scenes, genuine posts—  The man is having a great time.  I give John Lithgow a 9 for Mustness, a 9 for Insanity and a 10 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 9.3.  You gotta follow Dr. Lizardo!

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here!

 

 

 

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Mar13

Fat Guy Eats: The Columbus Market

by tonyd on March 13, 2017 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

Restaurant:  The Columbus Market (The Chicken Coop and Pete’s Pizza)

Address:  2919 Route 206,  Columbus, New Jersey

Food:  Chicken and Pizza

Price:  Very Reasonable for both

Portions:  Big for both

Taste:  Amazing for both

Service:  Quick and efficient for both

Atmosphere:  Outdoorsy/Market style

 

The Columbus Farmers’ Market is on 206 and it’s kind of a giant flea market/store/food court/rodeo and a few other things.  It’s places like this where you go for quality stuff at a very reasonable price.  My brother was big on both the Chicken Coop and Pete’s Pizza.  We needed take out one night, so he took me there.

The Chicken Coop was sold out of a lot of stuff by the time we got there, but they still had giant pieces of corn bread for a size and huge chicken tenders.  Great stuff.  Can’t understand why other places can make cornbread like that.  It was incredible!

Pete’s makes an extremely saucy sheet pizza.  It’s like the cheese and sauce are mixed in and cooked together.  It takes a little while and you should try to order in advance, but if you don’t, you can drop down to the Chicken Coop for some extras like we did.

Everyone was extremely friendly and nice.  The sheet pizza was like $18 I think and I forget how much the tenders and cornbread were, but it was so worth it!  Stop by the Columbus Market and get you some chow!

I give the Columbus Market, the Chicken Coop and Pete’s Pizza 8 out of 10 keggers, bros!

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

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Mar12

Your Fratoscope: March 12, 2017

by tonyd on March 12, 2017 at 3:18 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  You birthday cake will come in the mail.

Aries:  You’ll bowl a 200 game, but get disqualified for picking up spares with your sidearm.

Taurus:  You’ll drink enough Koolaid to turn your pee pink for a week.

Gemini:  The stars say, lighten up.  Your coworkers filling your lungs with packing peanuts while you nap is just a joke.

Lemini:  You’ll find out the CIA is hacking your vending machine so you get nothing but Sprite.

Cancer:  You will meet a little person, but he’ll insist you’re a giant.

Leo:  The Tinder app will get you laid, but then demand $400 for “his bitch”.

Virgo:  A girl scout will mug you for your wallet and then dump a box a macaroons on your head as you writhe on the ground in pain.

Libra:  Work will take you to interesting places if you consider Chili’s in two different state interesting.

Scorpio:  You will get laid in the last public phone booth.

Sagittarius:  You’ll make an origami crane and lift a car out of a ditch with it.

Capricorn:  The stewardess will insist you stow your gorilla suit for the duration of the flight.

Aquarius:  Your next pizza topping will be Jelly Beans.

Pisces:  You’ll follow the advice of the dog and eat that thing you found on the floor.

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