Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today I stumbled across the Twitter of Thomas Lennon, AKA: Lt. Dangle from Reno 911! Not to mention member of the State and writer of many scripts including Night at the Museum. He’s an immensely talent human being. Let’s see if his twitter lives up to that talent.
August 13th: “Sleep tight! 3 Ghosts will visit you tonight, to change the chain you are forging in this life. In order: 1. “Dad from Alf.””
August 13th: “2: “Floating, severed arm of the dude from Def Leppard.””
August 13th: “3: “Eyes without a Face, but with a Commercial Agent.””
The dad from Alf is dead?! Why didn’t Alf use his muppet powers to bring him back to life?!
August 13th: “Heed the lessons of these spectres, And let’s talk in the morning.”
All the arm keeps saying is, “Rock on!”
August 13th: “Do they say “rent a case of wine” in the Stones song Miss You?”
Nope. It’s “We gonna bring a case of wine.”
August 13th: “Heading to the airport. Specifically put MANY Summer’s Eve douches in my carry-on, just so I can act annoyed when the TSA takes them away.”
Ha!
August 14th: “The toaster ovens that heat up stuff at Starbucks have 2 settings: “Off” & “Surface of the Motherfucking Sun.””
That’s the only way they can properly heat a Plasma Panini.
August 14th: “Been trying to make my pubes look like that dude’s hair in “Old Boy.””
August 15th: “Anybody lose some underwear in the park? http://say.ly/smkBf5”
Damn. I thought the rain would melt that.
August 15th: “Closer view, if it helps. Use this hashtag to claim: #thosearemyfilthyunderweariabandonedinthepark http://say.ly/VNeBf7”
Whew. Fortunately, you can’t read my name in them.
August 18th: “Ladies, hold on to your panties. Here’s some of my sexy wardrobe from “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” http://say.ly/kMmBQ9”
Looks like something out of Middleaged GQ circa 1958.
August 18th: “If you already heard it, sorry. But I’ll never get this song out of my head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmmYMwFj1I”
Finally, a hipster song I can get behind.
August 19th: “It’s Friday in ATL. Anybody know a good foam bar with Jaegie by the Yard?”
If you went to Atlanta, you were there the wrong weekend Thomas. Should’ve gone to Dragon Con. You could’ve dressed in character and no one would’ve noticed.
August 20th: “Reno 911! fans might like to know that Raineesha’s booty is safety in my basement. http://say.ly/oTJCox”
You have shattered my booty fantasy.
August 20th: “Teaching my son that with imagination — anything is possible. Like Admiral Ackbar fucking a Mermaid. http://say.ly/MKqCqh”
It’s a trap! She’s just doing it for her Rebel Alliance green card!
August 21st: “Parents of LA. There’s 2 more weekends of Romeo and Juliet for kids at the Actor’s Gang @11 am Culver City. Amazing… http://say.ly/cJwCw2”
What happens at the end? Romeo and Juliet go out for ice cream instead of killing themselves?
August 21st: “http://kevinpollakschatshow.com/??”
Wow, sweet site.
August 23rd: “Has Aruba trademarked their new slogan “Come get Murdered” yet?”
Sorry, Miami trademarked it first.
August 26th: “Have a safe Friday night, gang. Or the greatest bungee-fuck of your life. #bungeefucking #doesntexist #notyet”
They’re always bad for me. I never have enough money for the escort AND the bungee chord rental.
August 27th: “In case you’re wondering if I was always a badass. The answer: http://say.ly/hocDNJ”
Ack! Ye be badass, laddie!
August 29th: “Hey gang. I just got picked as R.A. of our floor. Hit me up if you need something, or just want to dialogue.”
I think your twitter just went back to 1985.
August 29th: “My “3 Perfect Days” in Rome article got rejected by Hemispheres Magazine due to how many times I mentioned resting m… http://say.ly/QjqEak”
If it wasn’t at least five, forget it.
September 3rd: “I’m about to “mount” another production of Chess. Literally.”
You’re going to fuck a chess board?
September 4th: “Anybody know where I can get a suit of armor that doesn’t look stupid when worn in a Prius?”
Yes.
September 5th: “Regretting all those times I murdered a girlfriend on vacation where I FORGOT to take out life insurance on her.”
That’s why I buy insurance for everyone I meet. Just in case.
Okay, let’s rate Thomas’s tweets. Had to do a little editing. He’s a pretty relentless tweeter at times. Good mixture of jokes, updates and stuff he’s actually doing. I give him a 9 for Style, 9 for Mustness and 9 for Insanity. An overall score of 9, you gotta follow Dangle.
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