Apr28

Ten Comments You’ll Never Read on Reddit

by tonyd on April 28, 2012 at 12:01 am

I love the website Reddit.  Such a simple concept and oodles of fun.  Basically, you submit links and people vote them up or down.  But you can also make comments on them, kind of like a message board.  Like everything else on the Internet, it can get a little intense.  Here now are Ten Comments You’ll Never Read on Reddit.

1:  “You’re right, that was racist.  I’m ashamed of myself.”

2:  “Although this was reposted several times, I’m glad it was posted again.”

3:  “Thank God they’re going to pass this CISPA amendment, amirite?”

4:  “Ron Paul?  Who is that?”

5:  “You’re right, I am taking this too personally.  I don’t know what I was thinking.”

6:  “It would be wrong to up vote or down vote you without reading the whole article.  Sorry, I’ll keep my judgment to myself.”

7:  “A Star Wars reference?!  There’s something you don’t see here every day!”

8:  “Hi, this is Woody Harrelson again, ask me anything.”

9: “You’ve posted this in the correct subreddit.  It’s totally appropriate for here.”

10:  “I’m sorry.”

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Apr27

Rewritten Headlines: Monkeypox to G-Spots

by tonyd on April 27, 2012 at 12:01 am

Welcome to the Rewritten News.  News!  Without tact!  Just the fact!

Real: CDC:  Passenger on Delta Flight Did Not Have Monkeypox

Rewritten: Delta Airlines Now Monkeypox-Free

Real: Biden Trumpets Obama’s Foreign Policy Successes

Rewritten: Government Worker Kisses Boss’s Ass

Real: World Hails Taylor War Crimes Conviction

Rewritten: World Hails War Crimes Conviction in World’s Weakest Country

Real: Starbucks Sales in China Contribute to Earnings Rise

Rewritten: Chinese Now Addicted to Choco-Mocha Lattes

Real: Fringe Renewed For a Fifth Season on Fox!

Rewritten: X-Files Just Won’t Die

Real: NHL Fans Let Loose With Racist Comment After Loss

Rewritten: Hockey Fans Even Bigger Douches Than Previously Thought

Real: Despite Veto Threat, House Passes Cyber Security Bill

Rewritten: Congress Still Working Hard to Fuck Up Internet

Real:  Twitter for iPhone, Android Updated With Better Search and Discovery Features

Rewritten:  Annoying Tweets Expanded for Other Assholes to Use

Real: Mars Researcher Spies Odd Lava Spirals

Rewritten: Lonely Scientist Has Boring Conversation With Reporter

Real: Doctor Says He’s Found the Actual G-spot

Rewritten: Doctor is Going to Get Laid a Lot

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Apr25

Tony D Video Update

by tonyd on April 25, 2012 at 12:01 am

I’ve had a crazy week, bros.  Here’s why.

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Apr23

Ten Things You’ll Never See on the Walking Dead

by tonyd on April 23, 2012 at 12:01 am

Although the last two episodes were pretty awesome, for a while, The Walking Dead was becoming the show I was loving to hate.  Here’s ten reasons why:

1:  Someone getting the idea to just run over the zombies using all the extra cars.

2:  Someone digging trenches and building fences ahead of time, anticipating the next zombie attack.

3:  Someone making sure everyone carries a melee weapon at all times.

4:  The systematic emptying of the pharmacy instead of several dangerous trips back.

5:  Chain stores.  Where’s the god damned CVS and McDonald’s and Home Depot?

6:  Melodram-free moments of conversation that don’t involve talking about “What Rick will say.”

7:  Someone that says, “You know, even if this prisoner gets away, he’ll probably just get eaten by zombies.”

8:  Someone that figures out that the zombies are attracted to noise, turns on a music system inside a building and then burns it down when it’s full of zombies.

9.  Logic.

10.  This phrase:  “Hey, Laurie, watch your fucking kid for a change.”

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