Super Frat

Real: Justin Bieber Suffers Concussion in Paris

Rewritten: Shitty Lyrics Momentarily Overwhelm Pop Icon’s Brain

Real: Seattle Shooting “Hero” Threw Stools at Gunman: Police

Rewritten: Misleading Headline Implies Poop Being Thrown

Real: Madonna Disses Lady Gaga

Rewritten: Old Woman Shakes Fist at Younger Woman

Real: Men’s Desk Germier Than Women’s, Study Finds

Rewritten: Semen Rarely Found on Women’s Desk, Study Finds

Real: Sheriff:  Maryland Student, 21, Admits Eating Housemate’s Heart, Part of Brain

Rewritten: Maryland Roommates Not Getting Along Well

Real: Edwards Not Guilty On One Count; Mistrial on Five Others

Rewritten: Rich Guy Avoids Jail, Surprises No One

Real: Flavour Changer:  Genome Could Enhance Tomato Taste

Rewritten: Nerds Improve Pizza

Real: Key Part of Federal Gay Marriage Law Ruled Unconstitutional

Rewritten: U.S. Still Homophobic

Real: Singapore Stocks-Set To Open Lower, Wall St Weighs

Rewritten: Rich Singapore People Finally Decide to Screw Singapore Poor

Real: Mom of Miami Cannibal Dismisses Depiction of Him As Zombie

Rewritten: Zombie Apocalypse Off to Confusing Start