Super Frat

Feb18

Fratty or Not Fratty with Pledgemaster Dick

by tonyd on February 18, 2013 at 12:01 am

Hey bros, it’s time once again for your pledgemaster to lay down his judgment (but never his beer). It’s Fratty or Not Fratty with Pledgemaster Dick.

Russian Meteor: Fratty as shit, bro!

If you haven’t seen this, you must be living under a rock that didn’t fall out of the sky. Rocks falling out of the sky, always Fratty.

Slapping a Toddler: Never Fratty

Did this guy lose his fucking mind or what? How the fuck did he think he was going to walk away from doing that?

Workaholics: Fratty

The new season is on and it’s time to get weird! Love that shit. Very tight butthole.

Maker’s Mark: Fratty Once Again

Watering down the whiskey? Why wasn’t I consulted about this?!

Danica Patrick: Pretty Fratty

Finally a sports hero I can masturbate to. Thank you Danica.

Medals for Drone Pilots: Not at all Fratty

Even the guys being awarded these turds think they’re stupid. Why the fuck would they give a medal for sitting in chair and playing Call of Duty for real?

Ilsa Fisher: Fratty

And you know why.

Facebook: Even Less Fratty

What the fuck happened to Facebook? It’s like, Facebook is a friend that told one good joke and repeats that fucking story at every party. Even just going to Facebook has become a chore.

Driverless Cars: Very Fratty

Finally, I can get totally shit faced and get home with my car. Sign me up, Google.

The Oscars: So not Fratty

Thanks a lot Seth McFarlane. Now I have to watch this fucking thing. I’d better see some fart jokes or I will not be happy.

└ Tags: comedy, Danica Patrick, Driverless cars, Drone pilots, facebook, Fratty or Not Fratty, funny, humor, Ilsa Fisher, Maker's Mark, Medal of Valor, Pledgemaster Dick, Russian Meteor, Seth McFarlane, slapping a toddler, Super Frat, The Oscars, Tony DiGerolamo, Workaholics

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Feb17

Your Fratoscope: February 17, 2013

by tonyd on February 17, 2013 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: You will develop an accent on your trip to Outback Steakhouse. Unfortunately, it will be French.

Aries: Your “Punch a Kitten” franchise will not be funded by Shark Tank.

Taurus: The stars say, don’t trust fortune cookies. They’re actually made in the United States.

Gemini: Your roommate will make a video game and dedicate it to you, fortunately, “Assholes From Space” doesn’t reach it’s Kickstarter goal.

Lemini: You Valentine’s Day gift arrive. Guess that break up was premature.

Cancer: You will be visited by the ghost of George Washington, who will demand to know what’s all the bullshit white sales about on his birthday.

Leo: Your chocolate chip cookies will come out perfect, except for the fact that you confused the chips with a bag of kitty litter. On the up side, your cat has one sweet place to shit.

Virgo: You will be in a terrible car accident. The dialogue will feel forced and the story so unbelievable that you’ll have to back up and do it again.

Libra: This week, Chris Brown will slap you for changing the channel in the middle of Downton Abbey and for watching Downton Abbey. This time, he’ll be in the right.

Scorpio: You will finally achieve the life-long dream of having intercourse with an Anime character.

Sagittarius: Don’t worry, that creepy van that’s been following you isn’t used for kidnapping. The rapist inside has his van in the shop.

Capricorn: Your pot dealer will give you a discount on bud, but really mark up his Doritos.

Aquarius: You will be mugged by a gang of gnomes and they will get both your shoelaces.

Pisces: You will get free pizza and a massage, but you’ll refuse the deliver man’s happy ending.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, parody, Pisces, prediction, psychic, psychic frat boy, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac

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Feb16

Ten Things You’ll Never See a Meteor Hit

by tonyd on February 16, 2013 at 12:01 am

Meteors have shitty aim. Actually no aim. Is it any wonder the only thing they can hit is something the size of Russia? Here’s ten things you’ll never see one of them hit.

1. Your dog while playing fetch (“That’s it, boy. Get the stick! Oh, shit.”)

2. A televised sporting event (“Johnson goes back to pass, the receiver is open— Sweet Jesus! What the fuck is that?!”)

3. Morgan Freeman (What are the odds? I mean, he was the president in Deep Impact. That would just be insane to single out him.)

4. Your neighbor in the middle of a conversation (“Hey, Bill. Can I borrow your hedge trimmers? Thanks. What the— Holy shit!”)

5. Some dude that just said something really blasphemous (“Fuck Jesus and I don’t believe in God!” Ka-boom!)

6. A cop who has just given you a ticket as he walks back to his car. (What’s the etiquette on that? Do I stay or drive away?)

7. Some expert or authority figure right in the middle of a speech about how safe the meteor landing is. (“I assure you, there’s nothing to worry—” Ka-boom!)

8. The other end of a roller coaster. (And you’re on it and for a few seconds after you sail off the track toward oblivion, you’re like, “Wow, this is really a good roller coaster.”)

9. You, about 15 minutes into Skyfall. (Upside, you don’t have to see the rest of it.)

10. Some really guilty douchebag. (“Fuck you cops! I killed all those people and walked!” Ka-boom!)