Super Frat

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is Matt Mira, stand-up comic and one of the funny guys on the Nerdist. Let’s see how funny his tweets are.

@MattMira

March 15th: “RT @LAist: City Will Give Women Shot By LAPD During Dorner Manhunt $40K For New Truck http://bit.ly/Who0iu // They’re sooooooo generous.”

My thoughts exactly. You couldn’t give me 1000 trucks to be shot at like that.

March 15th: “Well, I’m going to hell for sure. Tonight’s @nerdist podcast is in a church. pic.twitter.com/i6P8OkjR5R”

Of course you’re not going to Hell. God needs nerds to run his IT department.

March 15th: “I just know I’m going to say something that will offend the stained glass people. Goddamn it. #NerdistLF”

Just go to confession on the way out, then you’re clear.

March 15th: “My third grade teacher was a nun, if she could see me now she’d know she was right. (Poor conduct, no ambition) #nerdistlf”

Oh, wait, you’re Catholic? Yeah, you’re going to Hell. Everything sends you to Hell if you’re Catholic.

March 17th: “RT @nerdist: CLARA. OSWIN. OSWALD. http://bit.ly/Z7TCCx //I’m not afraid of whatever Chris is protecting us from. I’m more in awe.”

On St. Patty’s Day? Must be leprechauns or Shamrock shakes that have come to life.

March 18th: “I bet they’d have better luck on Finding Bigfoot if they didn’t walk around with lighting/camera rigs in the dark. Or if Bigfoot was real.”

Everyone knows Bigfoot was captured by the Roswell aliens on a trip to Loch Ness. Read your paranoid history people!

March 18th: “Hey guy in Starbucks that just ordered a “spinach wrap with a extra 15 seconds”… STOP IT.”

I don’t blame you. With all the caffeine I have in my system at Starbucks, that 15 seconds seems like 15 hours.

March 19th: “It really seems like the world collectively got high and willed the Phil Spector movie starring Al Pacino and Helen Mirren to happen.”

No way! *google-google*. Holy shit! Yes! Wait a minute. Is this going to be good or only good ironically?

Okay, let’s rate Matt’s tweets. Solid behind-the-scenes, some decent jokes and pics. All positive stuff. I give him a 7 for Insanity, an 8 for Mustness and a 9 for Style. That’s an overall score of 8. Not bad at all. Follow Matt.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: comedian, comedy, funny, host, humor, Matt Mira, Nerdist, podcase, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, tweets, Twitter, Twitter in Focus

Comments Off

Mar18

Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Homemade Bagels

by tonyd on March 18, 2013 at 1:35 am

Ingredients: 3 1/2 cups flour, 2 1/2 teaspoons of yeast, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 1 tablespoon salt, 1 1/2 cups of hot water, 1 1/2 tablespoons of malt syrup, 1 egg beaten with 1 teaspoon of water, one bottle of Rolling Rock, one medium sized bong, 1/2 dime bag of schwag.

Step 1: Visit diner on late night drinking binge.

Step 2: Order bagel, complain about quality.

Step 3: Return to frat house, pass out on couch.

Step 4: Wake up next morning hungover with note that says “Make good bagels?” written on napkin.

Step 5: Go to internet, find bagel recipe.

Step 6: Find Rolling Rock while gathering ingredients, drink hair of the dog.

Step 7: Add dry ingredients to mixer, stir. Ignore crusty film in mixer from previous aborted attempt to make pancakes.

Step 8: Slowly add water until dough is made.

Step 9: Transfer dough to lightly oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap.

Step 10: Get bored waiting for dough to rise, find friend with chronic.

Step 11: Smoke a bong.

Step 12: Smoke another bong.

Step 13: Smoke one more bong.

Step 14: Play video games and eat Doritos for six hours.

Step 15: Live life as normal for next five days.

Step 16: Complain about smell coming from pantry.

Step 17: Discover mold infested dough, blame pledge for mess.

Step 18: Make pledge clean up mess.

Step 19: Listen to pledge recount your attempt at bagel-making. Deny.

Step 20: Insist that there is no possible way to make decent homemade bagels. Prepare for next drunken binge.

└ Tags: bagels, bong, chronic, comedy, Doritos, food, funny, humor, Ira's Drunken Recipes, pot, schwag, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, video games

Comments Off

Mar17

Your St. Patty’s Day Fratoscope

by tonyd on March 17, 2013 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: What good’s a prediction when you’ll probably end up black out drunk and not rememberin’ anything? You’ll be drunk!

Aries: You’ll go to bed with a fine lookin’ redhead, but wake up with a Great Dane in a Ronald MacDonald’s wig.

Taurus: Boyo, that beer bong’s not a beer bong, you’re drunk and it’s a vomit-filled vuvuzela.

Gemini: The stars say, it’s almost time to plant your potatoes, so ya better move that body now.

Lemini: Your Shamrock Shake will be full of boogers.

Cancer: It turns out, on your trip to Ireland, you kissed the Barney Stone. Now the only gift you get is the gift to steal Fred’s Fruity Pebbles.

Leo: The road will not rise to meet ye, but ye will fall flat on yer face ye wee drunk.

Virgo: You will read this part in a normal accent, but ye will read this bit in an Irish accent, lad!

Libra: Your Irish Coffee will actually be Italian and taste like it’s full of oregano.

Scorpio: Sex with a leprechaun doesn’t bring ya a pot o’ gold, but a rash in the shape of a four leaf clover.

Sagittarius: Some Irish squirrels break into your house. You’ll find them passed out drunk in your bag of almonds.

Capricorn: The Spirit of St. Patty visits you this night and takes you out for beers, but beats the shit out of you in an alley after an argument.

Aquarius: Your drunken Irish Dad won’t sing this song with you, but he will buy you Guinness. Close enough.

Pisces: You’ll finally catch a leprechaun, but all the wee lad has left is expired Famous Dave’s coupons.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, funny, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Irish, Lemini, Leo, Libra, parody, Pisces, potato, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, St. Patrick's Day, St. Patty's, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac

Comments Off

Page 732 of 1,011
« First
«
730
731
732
733
734
»
Last »

Give Us Money for Beer and Weed!

Chapters

Rewritten Headlines: Neil Gaiman to Post Office

Twitter in Focus: Matt Mira

Ira’s Drunken Recipes: Homemade Bagels

Your St. Patty’s Day Fratoscope

Latest Comics

Brother Websites

Finished Webcomics