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Jun30

Fratty or Not Fratty with Pledgemaster Dick

by tonyd on June 30, 2014 at 12:01 am

Dick Chair

Bros!  Take heed!  Your pledgemaster may be majoring in “undeclared” and he may have been fired from his brewery internship for “continuous intoxication”, but he sits in judgement of what’s Fratty and Not!

The Supreme Court:  Finally Fratty

Oh, can I finally use the cellphone without the cops just randomly taking it?  I think any 8th grader that passed Civics could’ve ruled on that, but hey, at least we got some good news on that front.

Twitter Verified Accounts:  Not Fratty

If anyone can get a verified account, what’s the point?  William Shatner knows the deal and you don’t mess with Kirk.  Kirk always wins, bros!

Nigerian pop singer Adokiye:  Fratty

Holy shit!  This chick offered to give up her virginity to save girls from terrorists.  Jeez, most the coeds on Ryesmore give it up for a six pack.

Military Smoking Ban:  Not Fratty

Look, I don’t like smoking, but Jesus Christ!  If anyone needs cigarettes, it’s soldiers!  After being shot at all day in an unwinnable war, you can’t have a smoke?  Do we really want guys with .50 caliber machineguns on edge?  Are you fucking insane?!

Drone Pilots:  Slightly Less Not Fratty

I’m not a big fan of flying death robots, but using it to peek on naked women?  Well, at least they weren’t killing anyone.

Electric Harley:  Kind of Fratty

Okay, so maybe you don’t get the rumble.  But shit, gas prices are high bros and an electric motorcycle sounds pretty sweet to me.  I mean, I can still be badass right?  I’m sure I can still split my head open like Gary Busey.  Well, not me specifically, because of my powers, but you can.

Russian Cops:  Not Fratty

Who is a fan of any cops?  But shit, at least the female cops in Russia were kind of hot.  Now they can’t wear short skirts?  WTF Russia?  There’s only two days out of the year they can even wear that shit!

The Hash Harriers:  Very Fratty

These guys run and drink.  I’m not a huge fan of physical exercise, but if I were to do it, it would definitely be with this crew.  Hell, I may start my own non-running branch of this club soon!

 

 

└ Tags: Adokiye, comedy, Dick, Electric Harley, frat, Fratty or Not Fratty, funny, humor, Military Smoking Ban, Nigerian pop singer, pledgemaster, Russian Cops, Super Frat, The Hash Harriers, The Supreme Court, Tony DiGerolamo, Twitter Verified
Comments Off on Fratty or Not Fratty with Pledgemaster Dick
Jun29

Your Fratoscope: June 29, 2014

by tonyd on June 29, 2014 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  Someone gives you a black knit cap, black turtleneck and black pants, so someone talked about the robbery.

Aries:  That friend you asked to pick up your mail while you’re away, he steams everything open, reads it and then reseals it.

Taurus:  Take a hit, then another, but stop at 16.  The dealer will bust.  Then you’ll lose the next 20 blackjack hands in a row.

Gemini:  Your lucky number is 5, as in, “For the fifth time, stop wasting your money on lottery tickets you’re not going to win.”

Lemini:  The stars say, you have a face that will stop traffic, but will be unable to survive the impact.

Cancer:  Asking someone to pass the ketchup will turn into a fist fight, again.

Leo:  This week, cat rustlers will steal your cat.  They’ll demand a ransom, but you’ll pretend you’re not home when they call.

Virgo:  Your diet milkshake pyramid scheme falls apart this week when 40% of your customers are diagnosed with diabetes.

Libra:  You make the mistake of feeding seagulls on the beach, so you and your beach blanket get showered in bird poop.

Scorpio:  You will sue Subway after you taste chipotle sex jelly on your hoagie and you distinctly asked for plain sex jelly.

Sagittarius:  You will get a boot on your car, but the joke’s on the meter maid—  You stole that thing a week ago!

Capricorn:  You will be called into your boss’s office after complaining about him on Facebook.  But don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to master the filters while you’re on unemployment.

Aquarius:  You get to knock off work early after the people you’re robbing come back from vacation a day early.

Pisces:  You’ll go on an awesome trip and forget your troubles, mostly because you’re drunk the entire time.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, frat boy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces, predictions, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
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Jun28

Binge Watch: Orphan Black Seasons 1 and 2

by tonyd on June 28, 2014 at 12:01 am

Tony Thumb

Hey Bros!

Ever watch a TV show all at once instead of week after week?  This is the concept behind Binge Watch!  My review column for watching way too much TV!  This week I’m reviewing the BBC series:  Orphan Black.

Show Premise:  Sarah is a street hustler and struggling single mom that discovers she’s one of many clones.  A conspiracy unfolds as she tries to uncover her true origins and protect her daughter from the people that cloned her.

Season 1:  Most of season 1 focuses on Sarah taking the place of the first clone she meets.  The first ten episodes are pretty intense and lead actress Tatiana Maslany does an amazing job of not only playing  clones with four distinct personalities and mannerisms, but also playing clones that swap places with other clones.  The series is set in America, but I’m pretty sure it was shot in the UK.  Still, the producers do a pretty good job of keeping the places generic enough so that the characters aren’t caught up in any specifically American places.

Sarah takes the place of her clone, who is in a position of authority.  Initially planning on emptying her bank account and leaving, she finds out her clone was unraveling the mystery behind her origins.  Sarah ends up caught in the conspiracy and then slowly gets pulled further and further in, until she becomes the defacto leader of the clones.  The clones include Allison (the uptight housewife), Cosima (the scientist) and Hellena (the crazy Ukrainian).  Caught in the middle is Sarah’s foster brother, Felix, who ends up sidekick to all the clones at one point or another.

The accents of the actors are spot on.  (What is it about English actors that can do American accents?)  It’s hard to tell which actors are American and which are just actors from the UK putting on airs.  But still, with this many English and foreign characters, the feel is distinctly European.  However, the pacing isn’t the kind you’d expect from most BBC shows.  It tends on the brisk and once the show gets rolling, it’s pretty much a rollercoaster of conspiracies, action and Sarah slipping out of one bad situation to even worse ones.

Season 2:  It’s hard to compare the seasons together.  Early reveals tend to be bigger and more exciting because you have so little information to go on.  Orphan Black, however, always seems to find new and interesting ways of bringing back side characters.  The conspiracy is peeled back and the corporation behind all the manipulation and monitoring of the clones eventually pushes Sarah and her cohorts too far.  Add a religious cult, some new clones and characters that seem to switch sides back and forth, and the conspiracies continue.

It’s hard not to explain why some of the payoffs are so good without ruining the surprise, but Sarah’s checkered past brings back some of her criminal cohorts once, twice and then three times.  The clones all have monitors and whether or not they are on the side of the clones is part of the fun of watching.  But make no mistake, Tatiana Maslany is the star and her transformation from good clone to bad clone to clone that transforms is pretty amazing.

Binge Watchability:  Excellent.  The cliffhangers lead one into the other and I found myself pretty anxious to play the next episode to see what happened.  Most the moments felt very genuine and human and only rarely does the show get caught up in it’s own plot.  With Tatiana playing all the major roles, the show’s producers have a big enough bandwidth to keep side characters on deck and bring them back only when it’s logical to do so.

Unlike a lot of American shows where the characters just seem to fallback onto the status quo, Orphan Black changes.  Although the bigger conspiracy is always on the fringe, the dynamic of the various characters changes up nicely.  My prediction is that the conspiracy can only go so far.  There was a big reveal at the end of Season 2 that will definitely breathe some life into the conspiracy, but I predict that it should end by season 4, 5 max.  But hey, the writing is crisp and the show is fun.  Maybe they can sustain it longer.  But this is definitely a show you should binge.

I give Orphan Black 9 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

└ Tags: Allison, Binge Watch, clones, conspiracy, Cosmia, Hellena, keggers, Orphan Black, rating, religious cult, review, Sarah, sci-fi, science fiction, Season 1, season 2, Tatiana Maslany, Tony DiGerolamo, watchability
1 Comment
Jun27

Rewritten Headlines: Gollum to Nigerian Mall

by tonyd on June 27, 2014 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Bigfoot Shaves and Goes on Vacation

Government to Pretend Privacy Matters on Cellphones

Congress Begins Nasty Divorce

“Organic” Still Bullshit

Airports to Offer Porn

Old Man Poop Science-Worthy

Undead Working Hard

The 70’s Alive Under the Sea

BBC Employee Needs Boobies

Robocop Prototype Built

Worst Orange Julius Visit Ever

 

└ Tags: A Game of Thrones, BBC, bigfoot, cellphones, comedy, Congress, cyborg, disco clam, fishing, funny, Gollum, humor, lawsuit, mall, Neanderthal, New York, News, Nigerian, Orange Julius, parody, poop, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, Robocop, SCOTUS, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, Whole Foods, Wifi, zombie
1 Comment
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