Bumbling Government Employee Finally Quits
Hollywood Actor Tired of Banging More Than One Hot Chick
FBI Unsure of How Bad Imaginary Scare Should Be
U.S. Lines Up Next Bombing Target
Penn Government Employees Spankin’ It on Taxpayer Dime
Weird People Unable to Gauge Actual Weirdness
Hipsters Still Buying Useless Shit
New Facebook to Turn Facebook into Myspace and Myspace into Friendster
Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is James Moran, writer of the very funny zombie movie, Cockneys vs. Zombies. He’s a funny writer, let’s see what he’s tweeting!
19 hours ago: “Merry #BisexualVisibilityDay! I see you! I see you all! Yes, even you at the back! Hello!”
Didn’t know that was a thing, but very progressive of you. C’mon, bros. We have to support all the ladies that also like ladies. You’re not going to get a three-way by just wishing.
19 hours ago: “On #BisexualVisibilityDay, I wish more than ever for a bisexual Erasure tribute band called Bi-Erasure. Make it happen.”
And we have to support the polar bears as well. Bi-Polar bears are especially in need of support.
18 hours ago: “Job! RT @klimny: Looking for a social media role and love films? This could be for you! http://www.waytoblue.com/blog/social-media-account-executive-uk-office/ …”
Reposting a gig. A first here on TIF.
15 hours ago: “Some days, the film & TV world is a stinking cesspit full of liars and scumbags. But beware! There are bad days, too!”
Ba-dum-dum! Keesh!
13 hours ago: “After facing bad parts of this industry, I work even harder on the stuff I own that nobody can touch yet. Find nice people. Work with them.”
Good advice. Couldn’t agree more.
13 hours ago: “Best revenge is to do well and make your own cool stuff. Also, hammers. Hammers are *great* for revenge.”
Good back up plan. I agree.
13 hours ago: “Disclaimer: don’t kill people with hammers. Even execs. Apparently they count as real people. Made that mistake once too often.”
That can’t be true. Check again.
13 hours ago: “In other news, someone on this train smells of sour cream and onion Pringles.”
Ooo, someone’s going to lick some tasty fingers.
12 hours ago: “LIAM NEESONS RT @empiremagazine: Bryan Mills is back in Taken 3 and we have a particular set of stills: http://bit.ly/1tXjhSq”
Loved the first movie, but I was so taken by the second! Ha! (Okay, I’ll stop now.*)
*Disclaimer: I won’t.
12 hours ago: “LIAM NEESONS IS MY SHIIIIIIIIIIIT *explodes*”
Yeah, that tombstones movie looks pretty sweet. The Grey makes me want to punch someone.
April 3rd (pinned tweet): “Writing is 80% eating biscuits.”
I guess Twitter has some new thing where you pin a tweet? News to me.
Okay, let’s rate James’ tweets. I found them pretty interesting. I would give him a 9 for Style, a 9 for Insanity and a 9 for Mustness. That’s an overall score of 9. Follow James. And rent Cockneys vs. Zombies next chance you get.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
Fall is a time when the leaves change and so do the movies. Do they change for the better? Well, I doubt it. It’s all the stuff not good enough to be released during the summer. Thank God for Netflix because here’s Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies.
The Guest: AKA: The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave, only scarier and handsomer. Pass.
Tusk: Kevin Smith is attempting to master horror? Seems like when you announce it’s a movie about a guy that’s slowly turned into a walrus, it’s sort of like saying Saw is a movie where a bunch of people are going to be killed with puzzles. Isn’t he point of horror adding some surprise and suspense?
Stop the Pounding Heart: Blah, blah, blah, romance, blah, blah, blah. No.
Dracula Untold: This should probably called “Dracula Retold Again.” No.
The Book of Life: Another cartoon not by Pixar. Pass.
The Town That Dreaded Sundown: I am so god damned bored of serial killers. They’re so rare in real life. Please filmmakers, anything new!
Ouija: Your movie specifically made for Halloween, Parker Brothers and teenagers is here. No thanks.
Foxcatcher: AKA: Steve Carell wants an Oscar.
Hunger Games, Something Something: Talk about stretching what should essentially be a Twilight Zone episode to the brink. We get it, she starts a revolution and saves the day. Start the fucking thing already. Christ, I can’t wait until this is over.
The Imitation Game: AKA: Benedict Cumberbatch wants an Oscare too. Ya know, with so many WW2 movies, it’s like every second of that war has been made into a movie.
Penguins of Madagascar: C’mon, seriously? No, I’m done. I just can’t even— Forget it. No. I’m going back to watching Trailer Park Boys reruns.
Bonus TV rant!
Gotham: Hey everyone! It’s a Batman TV show with a twist! You don’t get to see Batman! Wow! Oh, boy! I can’t hardly wait! Maybe they’ll make a James Bond movie without James Bond! Or a Spiderman TV show without Spiderman! What a twist!
If your birthday is this week: Your birthday party will be at the end of a scavenger hunt so at least your friends can have a good time before you finally figure out those clues.
Aries: You’re attempt at bird calls attracts a record amount of buffalo.
Taurus: You will marry the next girl you meet and bond with over a lap dance.
Gemini: Someone will finally explain to you the difference between ISIS in the news and ISIS on Archer.
Lemini: This week, your parents will disown you, but they assure you it’s not you, it’s them.
Cancer: You will wisely delete naked Kim Kardashian pics and get back on the net to find better looking naked chicks.
Leo: The ghost of Joan Rivers will say your vest and pants combo is “Bleagh!”
Virgo: Your Jackass stunt goes horribly wrong and you end up looking quite intelligent and smart.
Libra: You will realize that your Facebook Friends only like you because you live four states away.
Scorpio: The prison asks you to stop making freelance conjucal and let the prisoners get caught up on their sleep.
Sagittarius: It’s just another motherfuckin’ week in your motherfuckin’ world!
Capricorn: You will discover a new taste somewhere between cranberry vodka shots and vomit.
Aquarius: The stars say, it’s time to get in shape, in your case, a big, round circle.
Pisces: You will discover that it’s almost impossible to hide in a church in a Batman costume if you show up for the Sunday service.
Addanac City
A Dog’s Life
Adriana Game Over
Ahoy Earth
Art of Webcomics
Bad Oranges
Bad Pudding
Beta Male
Between the Realms
Black Tail and Marz
Bunny Wiggins
Capes and Babes
Cat and Cat Comics
Center Lane
Champion City Comics
City Folk, The Webcomic
Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
Corpse Run Comics
Crooked Frame Comics
Crunchy Bunches
Dairy Boy Comics
Damn Heroes
Destroyed by Robots
Dodgy Comics
Doug Lefler
Druid City
Fart Related Comics
Fatherhood. Badly Doodled
The Flavor Razor
Frownland
The Funnicks
Game Cupid
Games Finder
Game Period
Gerbil with a Jetpack
Giving the Devil Her Due
H.I.T.
The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
Java Jaguar
Ker-Bop
Kick Man
Krrobar.com
LaSalle’s Legacy
Legacy Control
Modest Medusa
Murdercake
Mythdirection
Ninja and Pirate
The Other End
OutwitTrade
Plan C
QWERTYvsDvorak
Robot Friday
Romantically Apocalyptic
SCAPULA
Skitter
Skroode
Sluggy Freelance
Sparkshooter
Spirits of Suburbia
StocktonCon
SuperBud
Tangent Artists
Teaspoon Comics
The Devil’s Panties
The Dreamcatcher
The System
The Tales of Lev
Validation
Vinnie the Vampire
Waystone
Wayward Raven
Winter of Discontent
Woo Hooligan!
Yesterday’s Popcorn
Zombie Boy Comics
