May15

Your Fratoscope: May 15, 2016

by tonyd on May 15, 2016 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  William Shatner shows up to your party singing his halting version of “Hap…py Birth…day!”

Aries:  The Devil buys your soul, but has buyer’s remorse and asks for your lottery winnings back.

Taurus:  You will punch a farm animal.  He’ll know why.

Gemini:  This week, prepare your suitcase because you’ll be selling your suitcase since you never go anywhere.

Lemini:  This week, Anthony Bourdain will insult your hotdog.

Cancer:  Your boss at work will interrupt your tablet gaming…again.

Leo:  The stars say, wash your ass.  You’re getting pantsed this week.

Virgo:  You will get surprise fellatio while taking a nap on the subway.

Libra:  You will poop a winning lottery ticket, but you’ll have to search several poops to find it.  Good luck.

Scorpio:  You will make sweet love to the ghost of the Artist Formerly Known as Prince while singing this.

Sagittarius:  Beware, the squirrels are planning a coup to take your bird feeder.

Capricorn:  A TSA agent will insist he check your shopping cart while you’re waiting in line at the supermarket and he throws away your shampoo.

Aquarius:  Your Capricorn roommate fails to return with shampoo again.

Pisces:  You’ll be at the Flemington NJ Comic Book Show from 10 to 4 on Sunday signing comic books, most which you made.

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May14

Movies You Missed: Deadpool

by tonyd on May 14, 2016 at 12:01 am

Okay, as the last fanboy to see this movie, I have to say that I didn’t want to like it. Hell, I predicted it would tank at the box office.

That all being said, I felt the movie was a little oversold to me. Fanboys raved about Captain America: Civil War, but the hype lived up to the name. Deadpool fell a little short for me.

That isn’t to say that anyone that worked on the film is to blame. The screenwriters (Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick) do their best to make Deadpool sympathetic. The thing is, he never really was. Much like the Bane villain in Batman, Deadpool is pretty unredeemable. Additionally, his creation by Rob Liefeld is extremely derivative. Mix Spiderman, Wolverine and Joker and that’s about it.

But the real problem with the comic book character is that he’s killed a lot of people as a mercenary. Much like Spawn, he’s a jerk. And while the film goes to great lengths to make him a jerk with a heart of gold, does anyone really believe that there is a secret society of bad guys that punish bad guys? Additionally, the secret organization that gives him his power isn’t all that clear.

I would compare this movie to American Psycho. It’s a great adaption of a terrible book or in this case, comic book. And, just as Christopher Nolan made Bane more sensible, this movie makes Deadpool make enough sense to tolerate in a movie. Ultimately, it still suffers from the same problems. Why do the good guys, in this case Colossus, give Wade so many chances? It’s not because it makes sense. It’s because Deadpool is popular and he’s the main character in the movie.

But this is a fun movie so you can overlook these inconsistencies to just enjoy Ryan Reynolds in a funny role. Probably the weakest thing is the make up, where Reynolds still looks fairly handsome, as opposed to the comic book version of his face. It probably would’ve been a slightly stronger movie had Reynolds actually been hard to look at, although the people around him reacting is almost enough.

So I give it a thumbs up. Not a super enthusiastic one, but a thumbs up nonetheless.

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May13

Rewritten Headlines: Fast Food to Fingers

by tonyd on May 13, 2016 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Fatties Can Relax

Defense Industry Pushing for World War

Science is a Dick

Cops Play By Their Own Rules

Government Knows Best

Lucky Guy?

Landlord Totally Uncool

Alligator Now Bounty Hunter

At Least Everyone Got Out of His Way

Asians Continue to be Weird

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May11

Twitter in Focus: Comedy Writer, Brian Stack

by tonyd on May 11, 2016 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant is comedy writer, Brian Stack.  He’s work for Colbert and Conan, let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@BrianStack153

No idea which one he is.  I’m guessing the guy in the middle.  Judging by his handle, there’s 153 to chose from.

May 6th:  “If you like great crime shows and haven’t seen the Swedish/Danish series “The Bridge”, I’d HIGHLY recommend it.”

No one ever recommends the shitty crime shows from Sweden.  Like “Ski Life Police”.

May 7th:  “Nico’s great version of Jackson Browne’s “These Days”. Never gets old.”

Stack likes to put up a lot of interesting links.

May 7th:  “”Must you really take my photo while I comfortably rest on this sofa cushion, you insufferable man?”“”

Awww.  Doggie!

May 7th:  “I’m sure Trump cares a LOT about this person’s concerns.”

Casino owners are some of the most caring people.

May 8th:  “The Beatles-“Julia” (Re-mastered demo) Happy Mother’s Day, everybody!”

Ooo, now the sound will be in both speakers.

May 8th:  “Miriam with Nora and Colette several years ago.”

Aw, that’s nice.

May 8th:  “Who needs flowers and brunch when you can just poke your Mom in the nose?”

Guess he doesn’t have a Facebook account.  I don’t blame him.

May 8th:  “Patty Griffin (w/ Natalie Maines) “Mary”, live in concert. Written for her grandmother. Beautiful song.”

My mom prefers boring, practical gifts for Mother’s Day.  Like detergent.

14 hours ago:  “Great interview on with hilarious former Chicago improviser now starring on ”

Ah, improv.  Sometimes I miss it.  It’s fun.

14 hours ago:  “Two husbands and fathers at the very height of their dignity.”

Ha!  Nice.

9 hours ago:  “Hilariously insane new Adult Swim video from the brilliant mind of w/ , Scott, and others.”

That was pretty awesome.  Adult Swim does some crazy-ass shit.

Okay, let’s rate Stack’s tweets.  Pretty personal, lots of behind-the-scenes and links.  Low key.  I give him a 5 for Insanity, a 7 for Mustness and a 9 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 7.  Follow Stack.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

 

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