Florida Not Only State With Weirdos
Definition of “Molested” Expands
Florida Not Only State With Weirdos
Definition of “Molested” Expands
Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is Lisa Marie and when you read her tweets, you’ll know why I chose to focus on her. I think I may love her in 280 characters or less.
3 hours ago: “Can I just trophy someone’s declaration of love to me?”
Yes. Yes, you can.
59 minutes ago: “Seriously, with 280 characters, Trump could declare war on multiple countries.”
Well, everywhere but specific towns in Wales.
43 minutes ago: “Wonder Years Voiceover: …And it was on that day in 2017 that President Trump started both a global war AND had Grey’s Anatomy canceled.”
He can do it. It’s in the Constitution.
37 minutes ago: “At 280 characters?! What is this, Game of Thrones??”
Only if there’s nudity and if you go over 280 you die.
22 minutes ago: “It’s sad that 280 characters means significant layoffs in the Grammar Police Department.”
Yes, but we can finally get rid of the Grammar Nazis.
16 minutes ago: “Why 280 characters is too much for Twitter…(1/275)”
Yes. This. Although Rob Heubel would make it work.
15 minutes ago: “If another Kardashian wishes to announce they forgot to pull out, now would be the time to do it. We’ve got 280 other things to worry about.”
No. Not another generation. Please.
Okay, let’s rate Lisa Marie’s tweets. I give her a 9 for Style, a 9 for Insanity and a 10 for Mustness. That’s an overall score of 9.3, but I’m going to round that up to 10 for that avatar. Nice pizza top, Lisa. Follow her. I mean, don’t actually follow her, follow her on Twitter. And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.
If your birthday is this week: Your birthday cake will be a tube of uncooked cookie dough and a candle, but you don’t mind.
Aries: You will break the seat on the 25 cent rocketship ride in front of the drugstore.
Taurus: Your Uber driver will stop to do his laundry, making you late.
Gemini: You will order a sandwich with 28 distinct toppings.
Lemini: The woman at the Wendy’s drive thru will decide that you’re too ugly to deserve ketchup.
Cancer: The stars say, don’t buy that used car until the seller agrees to remove the wolverine in the back seat.
Leo: The man from Craigslist who sells you the couch insists that the burglar alarm and smashed window is nothing to be worried about, but you do have to leave with the couch within in the next 90 seconds.
Virgo: You will be hunted by the son of last year’s Thanksgiving turkey.
Libra: Your friends hold an intervention to get you to start wearing shirts again.
Scorpio: The tennis game on a public court will only be half as intense as the sex at the net right afterwards.
Sagittarius: A clown in a sewer will offer you a great rate on car insurance, but don’t believe it.
Capricorn: Your coworkers will fill your car with acorns, infuriating you and local squirrels.
Aquarius: You neighbor’s pool is finally closed, so you’ll have to find another place to pee.
Pisces: This week is the beginning of a bright future for you, but they tell that to everyone who starts work at the tanning salon.
Addanac City
A Dog’s Life
Adriana Game Over
Ahoy Earth
Art of Webcomics
Bad Oranges
Bad Pudding
Beta Male
Between the Realms
Black Tail and Marz
Bunny Wiggins
Capes and Babes
Cat and Cat Comics
Center Lane
Champion City Comics
City Folk, The Webcomic
Company Man
Convenience Store Diet
Corpse Run Comics
Crooked Frame Comics
Crunchy Bunches
Dairy Boy Comics
Damn Heroes
Destroyed by Robots
Dodgy Comics
Doug Lefler
Druid City
Fart Related Comics
Fatherhood. Badly Doodled
The Flavor Razor
Frownland
The Funnicks
Game Cupid
Games Finder
Game Period
Gerbil with a Jetpack
Giving the Devil Her Due
H.I.T.
The Hero Business
Hit Girlz
I, Mummy
Java Jaguar
Ker-Bop
Kick Man
Krrobar.com
LaSalle’s Legacy
Legacy Control
Modest Medusa
Murdercake
Mythdirection
Ninja and Pirate
The Other End
OutwitTrade
Plan C
QWERTYvsDvorak
Robot Friday
Romantically Apocalyptic
SCAPULA
Skitter
Skroode
Sluggy Freelance
Sparkshooter
Spirits of Suburbia
StocktonCon
SuperBud
Tangent Artists
Teaspoon Comics
The Devil’s Panties
The Dreamcatcher
The System
The Tales of Lev
Validation
Vinnie the Vampire
Waystone
Wayward Raven
Winter of Discontent
Woo Hooligan!
Yesterday’s Popcorn
Zombie Boy Comics