Jul05

Frat Boy At the Movies: Moon

by tonyd on July 5, 2009 at 12:01 am

The trailer for Moon looks like a glorious and ambitious movie, the likes of 2001: A Space Odessy.  Alas, it falls way short.  Sam Rockwell, as always, is great, but the script’s revelations don’t take you anywhere.

Rockwell plays Sam Bell, a working schmoe in the future mining the moon for 70% of the world’s energy.  He’s on a three year contract and then he gets to go back to his wife and see his kid for the first time.  But after an accident (spoiler) he wakes up in the infirmary and it’s actually another Sam.  Sam #2 goes out and saves Sam #1 and discovers that they are both clones.  Okay, neat.  But that’s about the extent of the revelations.

It’s one of those frustrating movies that stalls.  Instead of just saying, “Hey, dude, we must be clones.”  There’s this long, unnecessary wind up.  And if you’re going to put up a space station to provide 70% of the world’s energy, don’t you think you ought to have more than one guy running the place?  And if the Kevin Spacey robot can perform most of the functi0ons on the station, well, why not a few more robots for all of them?  Uncomfortable question after uncomfortable question begins to pile up from the second act onward.  By the abrupt end, you’ll just be glad you’re going back to your car.  Sorry, bros, nothing to see here.

I give Moon 2 out of 10 keggers.  Majorly disappointing for this Sam Rockwell fan.  Oh, when will they let him play Batman again?

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Jul04

Frat Boy At the Movies: Public Enemies

by tonyd on July 4, 2009 at 2:59 am

With an all star cast of really good actors and Michael Mann directing, Public Enemies sets the bar high and then dives underneath it.  The movie is a routine gangster movie that will probably end up on the history channel.  The biggest miss here is not in capturing John Dillinger’s legendary crimes, but why he was famous.  Dillinger robbed banks in the middle of the Depression and the average man made him a hero because of it.  Think about it.  Everyone you know lives on a farm and it’s being foreclosed, but there’s one guy out there thumbing his nose at the banks and never stealing from the little guy.  On that note, Mann fails to capture the era and put it in context.

Christian Bale plays Agent Purvis, the man who eventually caught Dillinger, but its kind of a thankless role that could’ve been given to any actor.  The most interesting performance is from Billy Crudup who plays a young, J. Edgar Hoover.  Hoover was obsessed with Dillinger and it was the cross dresser’s eventual overzealousness that created the FBI and the beginnings of the vast “War on Crime” and the ever-expanding federal law enforcement branches that we now have today.  It could’ve been a great metaphor for today’s Depression and today’s ever-expanding Homeland Security, but Mann just doesn’t think that big.  Putting Depp in cool clothes and cars seems to be enough for him.

Another key scene where Mann misses the boat is when Depp and his girlfriend are in a restaurant and everyone is “looking at them” because she’s in a “three dollar dress”.  The problem is, Depp and his girl are beautiful and the rest of the actors are just window dressing.  We don’t get a sense that “these people” are the rich who aren’t effected by the Depression and the couple doesn’t belong there.  Mann just doesn’t create the mood, he just has the characters say that’s the way it is.  I don’t know, maybe he’s out of his element.  Dillinger is not the same as cocaine smugglers in Miami Vice.  Without the context, Dillinger is just another gentlemen bank robber.

Another aspect too is that Dillinger Conspiracy.  Dillinger supposed used the alias of Jimmy Lawrence, a small time hood that resembled Dillinger.  Legend has it that it was Lawrence, not Dillinger that was killed.  In the early 60’s, an aging hood dying in prison claimed to be the real John Dillinger.  I’m not saying any of this is true, but if you’re going to exaggerate Dillinger’s love story, why not exaggerate some of these juicy details.

Bottom line, PE is run of the mill gangster stuff.  It’s an okay rental or for something you’ll half watch on a Sunday while playing video games or eating dinner.  50/50 chance you’ll watch it through to the end.  I give Public Enemies a 5 keggers out of 10.

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Jul02

Who Should Eat a Dick: Guest Column

by tonyd on July 2, 2009 at 12:49 am

sf-tony-avatar.jpg with Tony DiGerolamo

Every Thursday, the Super Frat site lists individuals whose behaviors have been so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

–  The United States, for launching another dumbass “major operation” in Afghanistan that will accomplish nothing but getting people killed, should eat a giant pile of dick made from all the people we shoot in the new few weeks.

–  Joe Jackson, who seems more concerned about his new record label than his dead son,  can eat a dick served on a Thriller album.

– The Iranian government, which can’t seem to stop shooting its own people can also eat a giant green plate of dick.

–  The guy who own a pet python that killed a toddler can eat a giant snake dick and choke on it.  Way to babysit.

–  And finally, Death, after taking so many freaking celebrities in the last week or so, can eat a giant plate of rotting, corpse dick.  What is your problem Death?!  The number is three!

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board

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Jul01

Twitter in Focus: MC Hammer

by tonyd on July 1, 2009 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros:

Welcome to another edition of Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Last week, I was out with an injury.  (Plus, who could follow the amazing tweets of Courtney Love two weeks ago?  Who should really be in some sort of Twitter in Focus Hall of Fame.  I’m still reading them.)  Anyhow, we must move on, analyzing the media to death as is its fate.  Today, by special request, we examine the tweets of Mr. Parachute Pants himself, MC Hammer.

Let’s begin:

June 29th, 3:16pm: “http://twiturm.com/px59 The Cha Cha is a West Coast Tradition… you can mix the 2 step with it.. but West Coast Cats LOVE to Cha Cha !!!”

Okay, starting with a plug.  Let’s not make this a shameless promo tweet, MC.

June 29th, 3:19pm: “WEST COAST CHA !!! – http://is.gd/1iiTx”

What did I just say?!

June 29th, 4:19pm: “Here’s a little Cha Cha history..the way my crew do it is with a new twist..next rehersal I’ll make a video.. – http://is.gd/1im3k”

Okay, there’s some history there.  That’s cool.  Why does it sound like midday MTV R&B?

June 29th, 4:20pm: “Rehearsal !!”

Don’t you normally call that “Hammer time”?

June 29th, 5:20pm: “@jeremypiven Where’s the trailer ?””

Oh, hey, cool.  Jeremy Piven is on Twitter.
June 29th, 5:34pm: “The Goods !!!!! Hilarious!!! – http://is.gd/1ipL3″”

Looks okay, but then so did Smokin’ Aces.  Let’s hope it’s not another one of those.

23 hours ago: “The Goods !!!!! Hilarious!!! – http://is.gd/1ipL3 starring Jeremy Piven #thegoods”

Dude, you just tweeted that.  Relax, you’re famous.  You’ll get in a movie eventually.

23 hours ago: “http://twiturm.com/r9x9 Somethin\’ To Party (Dance) 2 !!!”

Cha, cha, cha.  Sounds similar to me.

23 hours ago: “I GOT GIGS !!!… WEST COAST CHA… WHO LOVES ME…Lookin OUT The Window… I Can’t Stand It.. – http://is.gd/1iqJn”

This is just an endless plug for music.

18 hours ago: “http://twiturm.com/nd07 MJ Officially moves into the The Greatest Dancer spot at NO.1 GODFather NO.2 NO.3..This Studio 54 Off The Wall D …”

Hooray?

18 hours ago: “MJ Is THE GREATEST DANCER EVER SEEN !!! – http://is.gd/1iF22″

Okay, that song sounds different.  Not my thing, but whatever.  Don’t you have any songs about cool stuff like Mermaid murder?

17 hours ago:  “@mchammer I\’m warming up with my WEST COAST CHA !!!”

Dude, you realize you’re tweeting to yourself now, right?

17 hours ago:  “WEST COAST CHA !!! Let’s Go ! POW !!!! – http://is.gd/1iHUo”

So this is either a guy who doesn’t really pay attention to his tweets or just relentless promotes himself without any regard to overkill.

17 hours ago:  “Dance 2 the first three songs on the list before bed tonite !!! It’s Summer time..get that body right !! POW !! – http://is.gd/1iJ0i”

Or, I could stuff cake in my mouth while watching reruns of the Venture Brothers on the Adult Swim site.  Yeah, that sounds better.  Mmm, cake.

14 hours ago:  “The Summer of Music continues….. about to post another Dance (Club) jam.. ready ???”

C’mon, tell us something on this.  Did you eat a bagel?  Did you go to the store?  What do you save it all for the reality show?  Give us a crumb!

14 hours ago: “http://twiturm.com/3h3h song was inspired from the fashion shows I was hanging out at ..that international feel.. The models danced craz …”

I guess it’s funky.  Again, not my thing.  Doesn’t really inspire parachute pants dancing to me.

14 hours ago: “Check Out these ladies free styling to SHE GOT IT !!! – http://is.gd/1iRL0″

That’s kinda fun.

13 hours ago: “Show support for democracy in Iran add green ribbon to your Twitter avatar with 1-click – http://helpiranelection.com/”

Whoa!  Did these guys sing on your album or are you actually talking about something that’s not your music?  I don’t know how much that’s gonna help the Iranians.  The best thing we can do is tell Congress to shut their comment holes.  Don’t want to give hardliners any more ammo that the US is interfering.  Hopefully, we aren’t, but you know that last administration…

12 hours ago:  “Close your eyes, listen to the strings till the end of the song …gain some perspective… chorus of sorrow – http://is.gd/1iVsp”

oversell

1. To contract to sell more of (a stock or commodity) than can be delivered.

2. To be too eager or insistent in attempting to sell something to.

3. To present with excessive or unwarranted enthusiasm; overpraise.

12 hours ago: “RT @ZnaTrainer The best & most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.-Helen Keller“

Well, yeah, she WOULD say that.

12 hours ago: “This is another link to all 7 songs….. if the other links don’t work. – http://is.gd/1iJ0i”

Thanks, I didn’t get the other 9 million tweets linking to your music.

4 hours ago: “This will get me pumped for the gym.. SHE GOT IT !!! Making my breakfast shake now !!! – http://is.gd/1jhDd”

MC, seriously, you have a website and they have all these links.  Twittering is for other links.  New links.  Not the same links.

2 hours : “When I wrote It… I never deamed it would make it this far !!! Disney’s new generation..20yrs later… Love it ! – http://is.gd/1jqcI”

Wow.  That’s, um, awful.

7 minutes ago:  “Dreamed !!! …- http://is.gd/1jqcI”

Ditto.

Wow, this is just quite a step down, bros.  MC, you’re not really living the spirit of Twitter.  You’ve, dare I say it, turned it into myspace.  There, I said it.  Well, let’s score it.  For Style, I have to give you a 3.  Just repetitive.  For Mustness, got give you a 1.  You keep repeating the same things that are on your website so there is almost no reason to visit the tweets.  And finally, for Insanity, well, it is kind of insane to keep posting the same thing over and over, but it’s not particularly nutty.  I have to give you a 2.  That’s an overall score of 2.  I’m afraid that’s the lowest ever.  Please go back to twitter school and learn to post things like where you’re driving to, what you’re eating, what movie you just saw and other boring details of your life.   Uncle Marv, can you help?  If you have a contest for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

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