Hello, bros and welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  This week, I’m very excited about TIF’s contestant, the legendary John Cleese!  I know, I know, you wanted another pornstar or fetish model.  But JC is funny and more importantly, witty.  He’s bound to infuse some life into the soulless Twitter.  Let’s find out if he can!

June 11th, 5:53am: “From Garry: Well, the great cheese has been busy keeping you updated on things… But…

No idea, but give him a few tweets to get going.  He’s an older guy.

June 11th, 5:54am: “He didn’t want to alarm you by saying that he was having an eye op yesterday… photo to follow… anyway, he’s alive!!

Ewww, photo of an eye operation.  Gross.  But at least your friend is alive.

June 11th, 7:42am:  “From Garry: Have posted a photo on my twitter space – will try and post it here too…

Okey, doke.

June 11th, 7:43am:  “From Garry: Here it is…One-eyed Jack…. http://ping.fm/ZoQGg”

Ah, Garry must be JC’s assistant.  It is John that’s having the operation.  Oh, dear.  Well, good to see you’re up and about.

June 11th, 9:46am:  “From Garry: He perked up when I read him your notes… http://ping.fm/g2v5e”

Dammit, just my luck to find John Cleese’s twitter page and find that he is not in.  Wait a minute, isn’t that what the cellphone tweets are for?  Get him a cellphone dammit!

June 15th, 7:07am:  “From Garry: As you can tell, he’s doing very well! We’ve been working all morning…”

June 15th, 1:14pm:  “thanks for all the twits http://cleeseblog.com”

Sadly, the blog was down when I wrote this.  Lots of technical problems on the UK internet I imagine.  Anyhow, here’s the link for JC’s podcasts.  I especially enjoyed this one.  Reminds me of the old Monty Python shows.

June 16th, 1:51pm:  “Nibbling”

The English.  So much like us…

June 18th, 7:02am: “From Garry: Look out for JC doing a fundraiser for NSPCC. He’s intro-ing Life of Brian at Electric Cinema on 25th June…

Nice.  You should do a tour, John.

June 18th, 7:03am: “Oh, and he’s in a very good mood, and is letting me work on my birthday (today) all day, so feel very lucky…

You, should dammit!  The man is a comedy legend!  Kiss his feet!  Kiss them!

June 20th, 7:20am: “It is definitely not my birthday. @gazzalon is however celebrating his birthday. aren’t you Garry?

Ah, that’s Garry. You must be both be posting from different sources.  Well, I won’t narc on Garry, but he’s doing way more crying than tweeting, John.

June 18th,  7:24am: “RT @gazzalon: Celebrating my birthday today – feel very lucky, as Mr. Cheese has allowed me to work all day…

He can’t even get your name right, John.  I think you need a new assistant.  Maybe one that looks like this.

June 18th, 7:29am: “From Garry: He’s asked me to confirm it is my birthday, not his, but you knew that – his is October 27th…

Everyone remember to come back and tweet John a happy birthday.  Plus, download his podcasts.  Take a break from porn that week.

June 18th, 10:13am: “Apparently Garry is complaining he is having to work on his birthday. May I point out that when he completed 20 years of servitude with in..March, I gave him a two week holiday… of course, in 2029 he will receive yet another holiday…

That sonuvabitch!  Plus, you guys already have healthcare!  Can you take that away from him?  You know, as incentive not to whine?

June 19th, 5:37am: “From Garry: Thanks for all your lovely messages for my birthday…

Yeah, happy birthday Garry!  You greedy bastard!

July 3rd, 4:44am: “Dear Twittering Twats. My eye is feeling much better, so I can now join your ranks once more.

Twats?!  How dare you, sir!  And after I stuck up for you in front of Garry.

July 3rd, 4:45am: “I’m sure you’ve missed me. But I know that you’ve been kept busy reading all Stephen’s lovely Tweets – what energy he has…

Glad to see you’ve come around, John.  You can’t do those silly walks with one eye.

July 4th, 11:10am: “Well, I have had that Civet coffee. It was quite good. But, I prefer the beans that have passed through a cat. They’re slightly sweeter.

Oh, gross!  And on America’s birthday!

July 4th, 11:27am: “Yes, and you did manage to get the patch on the correct eye… Well done.”

Is there an emoticon for sarcasm?

July 4th, 11:33am: “I like collective nouns… Like a spread of sticklebacks… an array of objects… or my favorite for politicians – a waste of time.

Sticklebacks (google, google, google)  Oh, Sticklebacks.   How about a shitload of sticklebacks?

July 4th, 1:21pm:”The “U” is back. Removed by that pesky spell check thing which replaces things when it shouldn’t. I’ll have it shot.

Careful, JC.  Bill Gates has had people shot in the States for doing that.

July 23rd, 9:23am: “Dearest Twittering Twats, Just to let you know that reports of my death are greatly exaggerated…

Great.  There goes my death pool.

July 23rd, 2:39pm:  “Feeling a bit better. May be strong enough to poke Garry in the eye with a plastic fork, which is a sign that my strength is coming back…

Don’t do it on his birthday, you’ll never hear the end of it.

July 24th, 11:10am: “… well actually, it wasn’t a fork, it was a spoon, as that was all that I had to hand..

Scoop the eye!  Scoop the eye!

July 24th, 11:12am: “Dear long suffering fans, just to let you know that I am on the mend. Poking Garry with that fork cheered me up no end….

Poke the eye!  Poke the eye!

July 25th, 9:34am: “My pro-state of the union address is this – every day, in every way, I’m getting better. Although, I think that Garry is drugging me…

I never trusted him.  Don’t marry him, John, he just wants to off you for the inheritance!

August 4th, 9:11am: “My dear, dear twittering twats. I have dragged myself from my bed, where I have been resting, and thinking of new ways to taunt Garry…

The egg prank is a complete foolproof prank.  Oh, wait.

August 4th, 9:12am: “… you to support something that means a lot to me… the NSPCC… Please vote for them and their great work on Childline at http://3.l

John’s links are a little wonky.  Here’s the actual link to his charity.  Can’t go wrong with that one.

August 4th, 9:14am: “… they answer as many calls as they can on Childline, but 1/3 of calls go un-answered… Winning the Twesitval could help…

Here’s the link for the Twestival.  Kind of a neat idea.

August 4th, 9:15am: “… now, back to getting better, and wondering how Garry would look with one eyebrow shaved off…

It might go something like this.

August 4th, 9:15am: “here is that Childline link again: please vote for them! http://3.ly/Q9z”

Go, John, go!

August 4th, 10:00am: “and in case that short Childline link isn’t working for some of you here is another one! http://bit.ly/votem”

Good thinking.  Your links aren’t so hot.  I blame Garry.

August 5th, 1:22pm: “RT .@deekdeekster: http://bit.ly/tearjerk it’s a moving tribute from Radiohead of Harry Patch.. ahh.. moving right along now


Well, it’s nice to see John still doing comedy after all these years.  This probably wasn’t his best tweets, but interest in twitter is a fleeting thing.  He’s definitely one to add to your followings.  Let’s rate JC, biased for him though I am.  (Although it balances out, as I now hate Garry.)  For Style I give John an 8, he’s a proper English gentleman.  For Mustness, I give him a 9, he’s got some pretty interesting stuff going on.  And finally, for Insanity, that is an easy 10 for reasons that should be obvious by now.  That’s an overall score of 9.  Follow John, if you dare!  And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus (other than Garry) email us here.