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Sep26

Frat Boy At the Movies: Drive

by tonyd on September 26, 2011 at 12:01 am

Drive, starring Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston, Ron Perlman and Albert Brooks (of all people) is a taught, film noir drama set in Los Angeles.  It’s one of these dark movies where almost everyone is bad and everything, no matter how well-intentioned, will blow up in the characters’ faces.  And although everyone raves about this movie, it’s good, but not THAT good.  Portions are just a little too clever by half.

Gosling plays the Driver, who has no name.  By day, he’s a part time stuntman, by night he’s a getaway driver, ala a lower rent version of The Transporter.  Cranston plays Shannon, is injured mechanic and mentor, who gets him jobs and keeps his cars working.  Shannon is friends with Bernie and Nino (Brooks and Perlman), two Jewish gangsters. That’s a cool throw back to the Jewish gangsters of old.  Shannon goes to them for a loan to by a stock car, so that Gosling can drive and make their lives good.

Along the way, he meets Irene (Mulligan), a single mom living in his apartment building.  Suddenly smitten, the two begin what might blossom into a romance until Irene’s husband unexpectedly gets out of prison.  Still smitten, Gosling decides to help her husband on a robbery to finally sever all ties with his criminal past.  An awesome set up.  It does take a while to get there though, so get comfortable.  Much of the movie is slow paced.

The style, acting and tone are all right on the mark.  Terse dialogue and slow, but deliberate pacing.  The movie goes wrong in the practical matter of the events.  It sacrifices pragmatic reality for a cool scene.

For instance, there’s a scene where the Driver is stalking one of the gangsters.  The gangster owns a pizzeria.  He finds him there having a wild party with his gangster friends, in a suit with some hot chicks.  This doesn’t ring true for a gangster.  What sort of thug, concerned only with his money and ego, throws a party in his dump of a pizzeria?  I don’t have money and I could do better than a pizzeria for a party.  I guess the film makers were looking to save a few bucks, but it just comes off as odd.  Also, the movie goes out of its way to make sure the Driver does most of his action with a car, which begins to get a little far-fetched by the end of the movie.

And while Ron Perlman always makes a convincing, evil bastard, it’s kind of sad to see Albert Brooks do this role.  It’s not that he’s bad, he’s just Albert Brooks, Nemo’s dad, killing people, cursing and being an evil thug.  It’s just odd.

Finally, the crimes are a little vague.  You’re never quite sure just where the money came from or why the gangsters keep killing each other over it.  Maybe it’s because I happen to know a great deal about organized crime, but first, the East Coast mobster is from Philly.  Even the most basic research on the Philly mob shows that raising the kind of capital stolen in the movie would be tough and why a mobster would bring so much cash out to L.A. to let it get stolen is beyond me.  But assuming that could happen, it’s a little vague whether or not the mob guy in question (never seen) is a made guy or not.  That makes all the difference in the world.  If the guy is not made, he’s most likely on his own to get his cash back.  If he is a made guy, chances are he’d have Family members descend down upon the offending parties quickly with a vengeance.

So an unlikely scenario is posited, the scary Philly gangster is alluded to as the driving force behind much of the killing, but you never see him, so the threat does not feel real.

Fortunately, the focus of the movie is on the relationship between the Driver and Irene.  Since that carries the weight of the movie, the other details can mostly be overlooked.  The final fight is odd and kind of unbelievable considering the previous scenes, but the ending is good.

So, in conclusion, there’s lots to see here, but it’s not perfect.  I give Drive 7 out of 10 keggers.  Although it tries a little too hard, overall, it’s a good movie worth seeing.

└ Tags: action, Albert Brooks, Bryan Cranston, Carey Mulligan, crime, critic, critique, drama, drive, film noir, Frat Boy at the Movies, gangster, Los Angeles, mobster, movie, rating, review, Ron Perlman, Ryan Gosling, Tony DiGerolamo
1 Comment
Sep25

Your Fratoscope: September 25, 2011

by tonyd on September 25, 2011 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  Bad news, it turns out your birthday clown will be Bjork.

Aries:  This week, your mailman will leave a Cleveland Steamer in your box.  It’s a machine that cleans your rug and it’s manufactured in Cleveland, OH.  Unfortunately, he shits in the machine.

Taurus:  The porn fairy will give you an address to pick up your own shit.  She doesn’t want to be seen carrying that crazy crap around anymore.

Gemini:  You will give up your comedy act after your ventriloquist dummy commits suicide in your furnace.

Lemini:  Your tech support guy figures out your problem.  Turns out, you’re just incompetent.

Cancer:  You find out that the reason your dentist keep advising you to brush you teeth with vanilla frosting is because he owns a great deal of stock in a diabetes medical supply company.

Leo:  The stars say, cut the green wire and then run.

Virgo: After 1000 straight hands of Vegas-style solitaire, you’ll realize that you don’t do shit at work.

Libra:  You will dream of making sweet love to a clunky robot and wake up and realize that you’ve cum all over your nightstand.

Scorpio:  The stars say, you get thrown out of the gym for having sex with your trainer.  Not because of the sex, but because you failed to wipe down the exercise machine afterwards.

Sagittarius:  Your pizza will arrive covered in bottlecaps.  You really ought to tip your pizza man more.

Capricorn:  You’ll be mugged by a six year-old girl with a baseball bat.

Aquarius:  Don’t listen to your car’s GPS.  It’s trying to kill you.

Pisces:  You’ll have a relaxing week at home, mainly because you’re too broke to go anywhere.

└ Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, Cancer, Capricorn, comedy, frat boy, funny, future, Gemini, horoscope, humor, Lemini, Leo, Libra, parody, Pisces, psychic, Sagittarius, Scorpio, signs, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope, zodiac
1 Comment
Sep24

Twitter in Focus: David Spade

by tonyd on September 24, 2011 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s twitterer is comedian, David Spade.  You’ve seen him on TV and movies and TV and then TV again.  Should we follow his tweets or say, “Buh-bye”?  Let’s find out.

@DavidSpade

September 7th:  “I can’t believe they are re making Tommy Boy and no one told me http://yfrog.com/h0h2d8j”

Ba-zing!  Off to a good start.

September 8th:  “thanks buddy! and i think u meant ‘your’ face.RT@bradhuey @DavidSpade imma anthrax for face if someone else doesn’t you turd fuck”

Hahaha!  WTF?  How stupid do you have to be to go after a profession comedian in public?

September 8th:  “PCU with @jeremypiven. Trivia: was shot R Rated and released as PG-13 using tv takes. Some good stuff got lost :( http://yfrog.com/met10bj”

Cool.  What’s it coming out on Blu Ray I guess.  Maybe I’ll take the 1900 steps required to get it on Netflix now.

September 9th:  “Quick thing in Entertainment Weekly..I need to take interview classes http://yfrog.com/mmhe18j”

Or you could just get a new haircut.  Either way.

September 9th:  “literally the salt mines RT MegynPrice Backstage at ROE. Ugh. We work SO HARD! http://twitpic.com/6ig8u1”

Lovin’ the backstage stuff.  Y’see, this is what I want from my celebrity tweets.  You think I will sit through ET just for their two candid moments?  Fuck that.

September 11th:  “im an arizona guy and glad cardinals won but have to give it to @realcamnewton2. killed it first day. gonna be a monster”

Dammit, no tasteless 9/11 reference.  Now I have to go to Gilbert Godfried’s twitter.

September 12th: “Taking my new ASU hat out for a drink to celebrate fridays win. Means a lot since I’m 120 credits away from via http://fro.gy/1dvpc”

You kinda look like K-Fed’s cousin.  I’m not sure if that’s a compliment.

September 13th:  “Hey Itunes quit telling me everyday there’s a new version of itunes available. Shit all u do is play songs wtf are the breakthru’s? #notnow”

Can’t have that in my computer.  Slows down my porn.

September 14th:  “Booger sighting http://yfrog.com/h469sxuj”

Finally.

September 15th:  “Why do all these ny catwalk models have a look like they are on Ambien? #wishitwasonlyambien”

It’s the only thing they’ll have in the candy dish backstage.  Zero calories.

September 18th:  “On way to emmys. Not sure why..”

Somebody has to hold Charlie Sheen’s hair back in the men’s room while he pukes.  You think Cryer’s gonna do it now?

September 18th:  “Me and @kaleycuoco seeing what an emmy looks like. It was our one chance. http://yfrog.com/mek736j”

Damn, it’s like you have a twitpic photographer following you around.

September 20th:  “Archive day: hosting SNL a few years ago. Sketch I loved about Amy playing my stunt double. #letitgo http://yfrog.com/kf1fh3j”

That woman can make anything funny, I swear.

September 21st:  “that sucks cuz i like your avatar. ps are you boy or girl? no wrong answer..RT @jacks_thought @DavidSpade I hate David Spade”

Kill them with kindness, Dave.  Or knives.  Either one.

September 21st:  “Rules of Engagement fans– the new season premieres October 8th @ 8pm. Make it happen people. http://yfrog.com/nw5ta9j”

Good luck.

September 21st:  “Watching x factor. The lines are so big to audition. We found out 90% thought it was a job fair. Drag”

These days, I think it would be easier to win X Factor than get a good job.  Stay famous whatever you do.

September 22nd:  “All I learned from this is I should be using jalapeño cheddar stickers for tape. And they almost nailed via http://fro.gy/1egzv”

How did the Emmys run out of iced cream?

Okay, let’s rate Dave’s tweets.  For Mustness, I give him a 7, for Insanity, also 7, but for Style 10.  Love backstage stuff.  That’s an overall score off 8.  Worth following.  And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: comedian, comedy, David Spade, emmy, funny, humor, Jeremy Piven, movies, PCU, Rules of Engagement, sitcom, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: David Spade
Sep23

Rewritten Headlines: Silvio Berlusconi to Lady Gaga

by tonyd on September 23, 2011 at 2:59 am

Hey Bros!

It’s late and I’m too fried to do Twitter in Focus.  Have to push it back until tomorrow.  But until there, here’s your Rewritten News update!

Real: Italian Parliament Boosts Berlusconi

Rewritten: Italy Still Corrupt

Real: Rick Perry, Mitt Romney Spar in Presidential Debate

Rewritten: Ron Paul Still Ignored in Debate Headlines

Real: Barnes & Noble to Sell Nook at Radio Shack

Rewritten: Radio Shack to Stay in Business Longer Than Barnes & Noble

Real: Netflix Pairs with Facebook, Except in US

Rewritten: Netflix Hoping to Annoy All Its Customers

Real: Disgraced Pastor Ted Haggard to Appear on “Wife Swap”

Rewritten: Gay Guy Still Insists He’s Straight

Real: Satellite’s Impending Fall to Earth Stirs Anxiety

Rewritten: Media Tries Too Hard to Make You Scare off Shit That Won’t Effect You

Real: Lady Gaga Determined To End Bullying, Meet With Obama

Rewritten: Singer Distracts Leader of Free World With Problem He Can’t Possibly Solve

└ Tags: Barnes & Noble, comedy, facebook, funny, humor, Lady Gaga, Netflix, News, Nook, Obama, Radio Shack, Rewritten Headlines, Ron Paul, Silvio Berlusconi, Super Frat, Ted Haggard, Tony DiGerolamo, Wife Swap
1 Comment
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