Super Frat

Aug06

Ten Things You’ll Never See on the Chick-Fil-A Twitter

by tonyd on August 6, 2012 at 1:47 am

1. Bob finally made an honest man of Mike! Congrats to both!

2. The secret ingredient to the breading is centipede.

3. The Fire Island Chick-Fil-A is packed today!

4. The Chick-Fil-A flash games just added a Pride Parade level for “Dan Cathy’s Chick-Fil-A Adventure”.

5. Congrats to Tina and Nancy on their adoption!

6. Our new spokesman, Daniel Tosh, will be signing autographs!

7. Buy two chicken sandwiches this week and get a double ended dildo absolutely free!

8. Wow! Our customers sure are in shape!

9. Remember, if you launch into a screed about how hate-filled our company is, you get a free order of fries!

10. We are currently out of Westboro Baptist Church action figures for the kids meals.

└ Tags: Chick-fil-a, chicken, comedy, Dan Cathy, fries, funny, gay, humor, kids meal, lesbian, News, sandwiches, satire, Super Frat, Ten Things You'll Never See, Tony DiGerolamo, Westboro Baptist Church

Aug05

Your Fratoscope: August 5, 2012

by tonyd on August 5, 2012 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week: You will see that episode of America Dad you always see. You know the one.

Aries: You finally chat up that chick from your History class. Turns out, she’ll date anyone that can get her some meth.

Taurus: You’ll think the people in Starbucks are trying to get you, but it turns out you’ve just had way too much cappuccino.

Gemini: Your speech will kill at your sales meeting, mostly because your fly will be down.

Lemini: Don’t eat the roasted pig at the BBQ. No one checked it for ticks.

Cancer: You’ll get pulled over by a cop. He won’t give you a ticket, but you will have to read his screenplay.

Leo: Jesus returns to Earth this week and stops by your house, but only to use your bathroom.

Virgo: You will be mugged by a guy in a college football mascot costume.

Libra: You will borrow your roommate’s college football mascot costume.

Scorpio: You will invent a new kind of porn, so rare and so disgusting, that not even you can get off on it.

Sagittarius: Your mailman will insist that everyone on his route has to reach in his pocket to get their mail.

Capricorn: The ghost of JFK will visit your girlfriend and bang the shit out of her.

Aquarius: You’ll finally come out of that alcohol-induced coma from Oktoberfest. Get a beer and celebrate!

Pisces: You will discover that describing your Dungeons & Dragons character makes for poor conversation at your dinner party.

└ Tags: American Dad, Aquarius, Aries, BBQ, Cancer Leo, Capricorn, comedy, Dungeons and Dragons, funny, Gemini, history, humor, JFK, Lemini, Libra, mailman, mascot costume, Pisces, roommate, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Starbucks, Super Frat, Taurus, Tony DiGerolamo, Virgo, Your Fratoscope

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Aug04

Frat Boy At the Movies: The Queen of Versailles

by tonyd on August 4, 2012 at 12:01 am

The Queen of Versailles is a documentary about a rich family that may or may not be losing their fabulous riches. The documentary centers around the wife, Jackie, and her struggle with possibly returning to the middle class and with some parts of reality.

Married to time share mogul, David Segal, the couple has eight kids, 19 housekeepers and is building the largest home in the United States when the movie opens. But then, the 2008 financial crash hits David’s business hard. Without cheap loans to fuel his time share resorts, especially the new one he’s just built in Las Vegas, the business starts to unravel. Without giving it all away, there’s an ironic moment when you realize that the banks foreclosing on one of Jackie’s friends back home are basically doing the same thing to David’s $600 million monstrosity.

It’s hard to feel empathy for people who need to build a new house mostly because their old house was too full of stuff, but the filmmakers try their best. Jackie’s charity work and trying to help her friend are in contrast to her mega shopping sprees and cosmetic procedures.

The Queen of Versailles is basically a two-hour reality show. And while there’s a certain amount of satisfaction in watching a filthy rich person’s wealth disappear, it’s ultimately kind of sad. It’s hard to muster up sympathy for a person, even a nice person, who is losing their home when they probably have enough money tied up just in shoes to buy another. It’s not a bad documentary and there are enough ironic moments to justify its success at Sundance. For me, this is more of a rental. Okay, but not great.

I give the Queen of Versailles 4.5 keggers out of 10.