Apr17

Twitter in Focus: Will Sasso

by tonyd on April 17, 2013 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is Will Sasso, formerly of Mad TV, currently of Vine Videos and Family Guy.  He’s rocking the videos and the podcast, let’s see if he rocks the tweets as well.

@WillSasso

April 11th:  “MOVIE PITCH: A guy is really good at drumming but then some sad stuff happens and he stops drumming but then drumming saves him in the end.”

Brilliant.  You could cast the guy from DefLeppard.

April 12th:  “Been a while since I did some super sweet airport bathroom modelin’ so it’s definitely time for some… ”

That kind of has a “wide stance” vibe to it.

April 12th:  “RIP Jonathan Winters. Very few had or have his genius for making characters as simultaneously hilarious and real. ”

He was the king.

April 12th:  “This Kindly Sedan Driver is Bill Cosby ”

Wait a minute.  If that’s Coz, where’s the Jello Pudding?

April 13th:  “Watching Italian TV with my Italian mom and I called two nuns a bad Italian word. I’m not fluent. Sorry. ”

Wow, you are way Italian Will.  How did you not appear on the Sopranos?

April 13th:  “Not the reaction I was hoping for from my Italian mom hearing me swear in Italian again. She’s onto me. ”

Be careful, she might serve you sauce from a jar.  Then you’ll be sorry.

April 13th:  “‘Luckenbach Texas’ by Waylon Jennings is the best country song ever, and Willie Nelson comes in at the end which makes it even more best! :D”

Sorry, I can only listen to country songs about food.

April 14th:  “I’m having fun visiting my hometown of Vancouver! Me and the old gang even went to a cool nightclub! :D ”

Not a popular number in Vancouver apparently.

April 14th:  “I just walked the beach near my parents’ house while listening to George Harrison, if you’re curious what bad motherfuckers do on a Sunday.”

Shush your mouth!   I’m just talkin’ bout Sass!

22 hours ago:  “If you haven’t yet read ‘s good message regarding today’s evil. ”

That’s a pretty good summation.  I just hope people don’t lose their shit like they did on 9/11 and pass more ridiculous laws that do nothing.

19 hours ago:  “Word Repeat! with My Adorable Italian Mother “Mumford & Sons” ”

Damn, I gotta get me one of those Vine Video apps.  They look like all kinds of fun.

4 hours ago:  “Great fun doing my pal ‘s podcast. History will observe him a true vanguard of comedy and broadcasting. ”

Nice.  So many podcasts, so little time.

4 hours ago:  “I bet most rockstars are nice. :D”

You’d be nice too if you could get blowjobs whenever you wanted.

3 hours ago:  “Today on we’re three stupid idiots just like every episode. Okay, catch ya later. “Back-UHlone” ”

Damn, Will, you’re the king of the Internet.

Okay, let’s rate Will’s tweets.  Pretty stellar.  Nice to see a celebrity on board with the Internet gadgets.  I give Will a 9 for Insanity, mainly because of this video.  A 9 for Mustness and a 10 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 9.3.  Will is definitely one of the top people to follow.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

 

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Apr15

Tony’s Media Podcast

by tonyd on April 15, 2013 at 12:13 pm

Hey, I’m trying out a podcast. Here it is.

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Apr15

Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies

by tonyd on April 15, 2013 at 12:01 am

Movies are expensive these days and I’m broke.  You gotta really inspire me to get my $10.50 plus popcorn.  Here now is another installment of Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies.

Scary Movie V:  Because I haven’t seen Scary Movie I thru IV and I’ll be totally lost?  I’ll admit it, I enjoy Two and Half Men with Charlie Sheen.  So why am I going to pay this money when I can see him AND Lyndsay Lohan for free on FX in Anger Management?  Quite frankly, I don’t want to see either.  The last thing that I enjoyed Charlie Sheen in was that commercial for the tiny car where he drives around the house.  Plus, I’m not 12, so fuck this franchise.

The Croods:  I will say that the Croods is probably a half-way decent animated movie.  And I could score some husband points because the Missus does want to see it.  But I am wary of anything with the word “family” in the description that isn’t a mob movie.

Jurassic Park 3D:  Did not really enjoy this movie in 2D.  It’s not particularly tension-building for me because I picked out all the characters that were going to live and die ten minutes into the film.  3-D isn’t going to help.  In fact, 3-D is pretty fucking annoying these days.  You know it was novel and fun for a tiny window of time.  Now it just seems like another reason to charge me five dollars.

Oz The Great and Powerful:  Don’t like the buzz on this movie.  It’s a shame, because the cast looks good.  I’d rather wait for James Franco in this movie.

Tyler Perry’s—:  Okay, let me just stop you right there.  No.  I’m probably a total hypocrite considering every comic I put my name in front of, but no.  No thank you, no.

Jack the Giant Slayer:  How is this not on Netflix yet?  I don’t even think I’ll watch this when it does come on Netflix.  It just looks like more CGI stuff.  I have plenty of video games.  Do the people that make these movies not know about video games?

Admission:  C’mon.  Unless this movie is directly by David Wain, I know exactly what it is.  It’s a chick flick with some amusing moments.  It’s Date Night, but without Marky Mark and the ridiculous spy stuff.  Tina Fey is hilarious and Paul Rudd is as well, but this is clearly a vehicle to sell them as romantic leads.  Who wants to see that?  I don’t want to see them get together.  Paul Rudd in Role Models?  Genius.  And I want to see Tina Fey totally miserable and stuffing her face like on 30 Rock.  She wants to try new things, that’s fine.  Not on my dime though.

All right, that’s all I can stand.  It’s just a wasteland until the summer.  Thank God I have free HBO for another few months. I’m going to watch A Game of Thrones.

 

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Apr14

Your Fratoscope: April 14, 2013

by tonyd on April 14, 2013 at 12:01 am

If your birthday is this week:  Throw your birthday cake through the window and get down.  Then never order from the Al Qeada Bakery again.

Aries:  Your right nipple will itch this week.

Taurus:  Your YouTube parody of Breaking Bad causes Bryan Cranston to come to your house and beat the shit out of you in character.

Gemini:  You will be mugged by a mime.  Fortunately, he only gets your mime wallet.

Lemini:  You will be sexually molested by one of the exhibits in the petting zoo.

Cancer:  Your GPS will lead you to drive into an Olympic sized swimming pool.

Leo:  Your “special” garden will be discovered by the cops.  Maybe you shouldn’t have buried all those dead hobos under all that weed.

Virgo:  A judge will tell you that he would’ve dismissed the streaking charges if you hadn’t taken a shit on second base.

Libra:  Your ideal for a video game about waiting in line at the DMV is bought by EA Games.

Scorpio:  You will make sweet love in your car, but the car wash worker still won’t give you a discount on the detailing.

Sagittarius:  You will find out your neighbor is not have loud sex in the next apartment, he just likes to punch the wall while he’s watching porn at top volume.

Capricorn:  Turns out, that meth addict was a wizard and he grants you three wishes.  Unfortunately, he is still a meth addict, so all the wishes just get you more meth.

Aquarius:  Your roommate will call out your name the next time he masturbates.

Pisces:  You will have your cake and eat it too.  Mostly, it’s because you’re drunk and someone dares you to eat vomit.

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