Hey Bros!
Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is Danny Zuker, producer of Modern Family and former Howard Stern Show intern. Let’s see what he’s tweeting.
December 5th: “Grow up liberals! With the possible exception of every single country on earth that has ever tried it, sensible gun control doesn’t work.”
It sure does. Just ask anyone in Kazakhstan.
December 5th: “I can’t say “Fuck” on ABC and my 1st amendment survived. Think my 2nd amendment could survive having to reload after 6 shots.”
ABC told you not to use “Fuck”. Didn’t realize they were the government now. I assumed they only controlled Florida.
December 7th: “Parenting tip: When naming your child, stay away from names that could be used ironically in headlines when they get in trouble. #Saint”
Solid tip. Calling your kid “Innocence” also bad because the shortened nickname is “Inny”.
December 7th: “For those who don’t have time to read @realDonaldTrump‘s statement here’s the basic message he sent to the world… pic.twitter.com/kiuN1Yy1Wz”
Look, there’s only one way we’re going to get to have Blackjack tables as part of the White House tour and this is it!
December 9th: “Help end the war on Christmas Episodes of TV and watch tonight’s super funny Modern Family co written by national treasure @andygordon3000!”
Dammit, how do these robots keep taking our writing jobs?!
December 12th: “After watching interviews with @realDonaldTrump supporters I feel better about the guy. At least he only believes HALF the shit he says.”
Dammit, Danny, don’t take the easiest four years of monologue jokes away from us!
December 19th: “Wish there were more strange creatures talking taxes & trade policy in the new #StarWars so for me this debate is Phantom Menace-tastic!”
What?! That was some of the best cinematic trade policy debate in history! I hope there’s not too much of that boring light saber and spaceship crap.
December 20th: “I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a grown man remove his Yoda mask upon reading the sign”No Costumes” at this showing of #StarWars.”
Sadden me, this does.
December 20th: “The only thing more embarrassing than Steve Harvey crowning the wrong Miss Universe is that there’s still a Miss Universe.”
No argument here.
December 21st: “Inspired by Lindsey Graham’s announcement, I’m announcing I’m breaking up with my girlfriend who left me to marry someone else 20 years ago.”
Now who will NeoCons vote for? Oh, right, everyone else.
December 21st: “Just because @realDonaldTrump is endorsed by White Supremacists, Nazi groups, ISIS, & Putin, it doesn’t mean the rest of his supporters sha”
Those supporters definitely don’t sha. That is a trademark of Bowser.
December 21st: “Sorry. Got cut off. What I was trying to say was that just cause some Trump supporters chanted “Sieg Heil” we shouldn’t assume that the oth”
Are you new at Twitter, Danny?
December 21st: “Okay last try: Instead of the liberal media focussing on @realDonaldTrump‘s made up 9/11 story & his creepy comments about his daughter why”
Ratings, Danny, ratings. Do you know how boring an actual debate would be?
2 hours ago: “Paperless Post holiday cards are a wonderful way to say to the people in your life “I have your email address.””
Hey, it’s saving the Greeting Card Pine.
Okay, let’s rate Danny’s Tweets. His pinned tweet was “I’m constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive & confident than her sister Hog Face.” which I though was pretty funny. So I was a little surprised at how political his tweets got. But that’s okay, gotta respect that. I give Danny a 5 for Insanity, a 7 for Style and an 8 for Mustness. That’s an overall score of 6.6, but I’m rounding up to 7 because, ya know, Howard.
And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.
