Super Frat

If your birthday is this week:  Your friends on Facebook will agree that you’re aging badly and should probably quit.

Aries:  While doing your shitty job, you’ll point to Dave Grohl whose been watching you and let him try it for a while.

Taurus:  Megatron will cut in front of you at the drugstore, but you won’t say anything.

Gemini:  The NFL does not draft you, again, but they do invite you back to work a concession stand.

Lemini:  You will walk through the kennel undecided because all the dogs look so delicious.

Cancer:  The stars say, eating donuts is not a sport, despite your efforts.

Leo:  You will accidentally massage a total stranger.

Virgo:  Your can of tuna contains only a partial T-shirt from the TV show, World’s Deadliest Catch.

Libra:  This week, you will be bombarded with marshmellows at work.

Scorpio:  You do not find any Pokemon up any major orifice, despite repeated attempts.

Sagittarius:  You’ll attempt to bake a cake while getting high, but realize half walk through all you really did was pour all the ingredients into a bowl and set them on the window sil.

Capricorn:  You’ll find your mailbox full of buttermilk, but the mailman will apologize for stealing your carton.

Aquarius:  You’ll get dealt a Royal Flush, but realize that does you little good in Shuffleboard.

Pisces:  You’ll attend an awesome comic book convention in Philadelphia, from 10 to 4, where a Spiderman in the parking lot will attempt to sell you some weed.