Your Fratoscope: November 15, 2015
on November 15, 2015 at 12:01 am
If your birthday is this week: The stars say, you missed a pile of leaves in your back yard.
Aries: It’s fine to be a fan of the early seasons of Archer, but stop telling everyone you’d like to be in ISIS.
Taurus: An armless vet will beat you in darts.
Gemini: You will destroy your newly invented time machine when you realize everyone prior to the 20th century smells like ass.
Lemini: You will be sexually harassed by a tailor while being fitted for a suit.
Cancer: Your love life takes a turn for the worst at the Pornhub website goes down.
Leo: You will laugh a little too hard at the previous joke.
Virgo: You’ll discover that the cruise you’re on serves nothing but penguin meat.
Libra: You will realize how poor you are when some guys committing a home invasion against you, give you $130 between them and leave.
Scorpio: Stop making out with the toll booth guy, everyone is trying to get across the bridge!
Sagittarius: Your ebay bids on that Eagles of Death Metal CD suddenly spike.
Capricorn: You will be struck by a delicious loaf of Italian bread.
Aquarius: Your Jewish friends will make up a holiday just to get a break away from you.
Pisces: Your online avatar will ask you for a small business loan.
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