Congress Approves New World War

Tax Dollars Spent to Convince You the Police Probably Won’t Kill You

Poor People Planning to Buy Lots of Shit This Christmas

Sick Kid Bums Out Celebrity

Finally, It’s Nature’s Fault

People Will Continue to Fuck

Astronauts to be Sexier

And They Don’t Know Where the God Damned Paint Is!

Zombie Apocalypse Begins

Fatties Don’t Give a Fuck