Hello, bros and welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die. Today’s contestant is Conan O’Brien who hasn’t had much to do except Twitter recently. Let’s check in with Coco!
April 8th, 2:55pm: “4 days to my first show. Eugene Oregon… Brace yourself for a towering tsunami of dry, self-deprecating humor.”
Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Self-depreciation! All right!
April 9th, 3:01pm: “http://twitpic.com/1ece6n – I traced my tour route on a map. I see a turtle sexually attacking a horse smoking a cigarette.”
Wait a minute. That’s not self-depreciating. Unless you’re the turtle.
April 10th, 4:22pm: “Watching the Masters. I don’t know how Matteo Manassero can play under this intense media scrutiny.”
I know, the media just keeps harping on the fact that he was born near Verona. Give it break MSM!
April 11th, 9:34pm: “http://twitpic.com/1ezvfa – I’m in Eugene, OR and my room faces the theater where I debut tomorrow. The mob outside is in a frenzy.”
The important thing is you get to perform without celebrity superhero interruptions.
April 12th, 12:45pm: “The good news: I will be doing a show on TBS starting in November! The bad news: I’ll be playing Rudy on the all new Cosby Show.”
At least you won’t have to play George Lopez on Lopez.
April 13th, 4:30pm: “I’m in Vancouver for my second show. Thought I’d stir up some controversy by wearing my hat that says “Canada.” http://twitpic.com/1fdmy7″
You should really stir up something by getting some free healthcare while you’re there.
April 14th, 3:26pm: “Welcome to the new http://teamcoco.com. Less predators than Craigslist, more predators than Facebook.”
Nice!
April 15th, 4:09pm: “Taxes are due today and I’m in Canada. Just try to catch me, Uncle Sam!”
Stick it to the man, Coco!
April 16th, 7:23pm: “I just gave my waitress, Bambi, tickets to tonight’s show in Spokane. Do I still have to tip her? http://twitpic.com/1g3u42”
Well, it depends. Guessing by the price of your tickets, that would cover it if you ate 72 Grand slam breakfasts.
April 17th, 6:06pm: “I’m performing at the River Cree Casino just before Don Rickles. My comedy life is now complete.”
Nice going ya hockey puck.
April 18th, 6:14pm: “Hayley Mills, Kourtney Kardashian, Melissa Joan Hart and I were all born on today’s date. Coincidence? Or the new cast of Bad Girl’s Club?”
Nice and a good excuse to post a pic.
April 19th, 10:56pm: “It took a trip to the Seattle Fish Market to learn my skin color is “Halibut White.” http://yfrog.com/1chalibutwhite1j”
Ha! You’re hilariously pigment challenged!
April 20th, 4:34pm: “Eddie Vedder’s set at my show in Seattle last night melted my eyeballs. Seriously, I’m going to sue Eddie for boiling my ocular-jelly.”
Aw, man, you got Eddie opening for you? Crap, I should’ve seen this show.
April 21st, 7:53pm: “Today is my first real day off from touring. I’m home enjoying what my agent tells me is my family.”
What does Pimpbot5000 do while you’re off? Is he just in a storage shed somewhere or what?
Pimpbot 5000 from Ampersand et on Vimeo.
April 22nd, 8:35pm: “Doing a show in San Francisco. This is a chair in my dressing room. I’m not kidding. http://twitpic.com/1hmrl6”
Does it play showtunes when you sit in it?
April 23rd, 2:33pm: “I’m sending a tweet from inside Twitter HQ. I’ll bet those hot girls in high school wish they had slept with me now.”
Does everyone in the building have to talk in 140 characters or less?
April 24th, 10:40pm: “I’m doing my live show tonight from the Universal lot where I taped The Tonight Show. So if a shot rings out, tell my wife I loved her.”
Remember, if things go badly, you can always stash a body on the set for the Marriage Ref, no one will ever see it there.
April 25th, 5:40pm: “Jim Carrey rudely interrupted my power ballad last night. How did he get past security in a Superman outfit? Look here: http://teamcoco.com”
Maybe he showed them pics of his ex-wife.
April 26th, 1:56pm: “We’ve added a show in Michigan. Finally I get to perform in a state shaped like a fat guy’s hand. For tix go here: http://breslincenter.com”
Keep your fingers crossed for Maine!
3 hours ago: “Who would invest in Goldman Sachs mortgage investments? I played it safe and bought Greek bonds and magic beans.”
Personally, I heavily invested in fat guys named Ned. I have a good feeling that they’ll finally get their lives together, lose some weight and move out of their parents’ basements.
Okay, let’s rate Conan’s tweets. He’s a comedian, so that’s an easy 7 for Insanity, 7 for Style and he’s pretty consistently updating now, so 10 for Mustness. That’s an overall score of 8. Nice job, Coco! And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.
