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Jul18

Movies I Wish I Missed: Under the Skin

by tonyd on July 18, 2015 at 12:59 am

Under_the_Skin_poster

“Under the Skin poster” by Source (WP:NFCC#4). Licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia –

You’d think a movie with multiple nude shots of Scarlett Johansson would be on the top of my list, but you’d be wrong.  Despite fairly awesome nudity, Under the Skin has the pacing of a snail, going backwards down a hill in the snow if you recorded that snail on a video camera, played it back in slow motion and then froze the entire thing in a block of ice.

That doesn’t mean the movie doesn’t have it’s moments.  Johansson plays an alien who lures men to their doom for reasons that are never explained.  The reason you don’t get an explanation in this movie is that there is almost no dialogue and what little dialogue there is, is spoken by Scotts with accents thicker than molten steel.  I understood almost no dialogue that wasn’t spoken by Scarlett’s character. Virtually nothing is explained and moments in the movie that are seemingly important, are shown in literally glimpses.  But all that being said, the scenes where Scarlett lures and kills her prey are very creepy.

Those scenes start to pick up during the first third of the movie, but there’s so many panoramic shots of Scotland scenery that go nowhere and long stretches of WTF is happening, that as an audience member, I lost interest.  By the time the movie resolves, I was more relieved than anything.  It seemed like a whole lot of trouble for nothing.  No real character development.  A nice try, but no good.  Swing and a miss.  For an indie film, I feel bad, but Scarlett’s nudity was actually kind of boring.

And that I can’t forgive.

thumbdown

└ Tags: alien, cinema, film, movie, Movies I Wish I Missed, rating, review, Scarlett Johansson, sci-fi, science fiction, Tony DiGerolamo, Under the Skin
Comments Off on Movies I Wish I Missed: Under the Skin
Jul17

Rewritten Headlines: BLT to Bambi

by tonyd on July 17, 2015 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

BLT About to Get Crazy

LAX Now Six Hour Wait

Break Up With Your Chicken

Time Wasting to Increase

Comic Strip Suddenly Relevant Again

Gross Jewelry Honest

Gillian Anderson Needs a Gig

Santa Gets an Early Start

Superman Has a Problem

Japan Continues Weirdness

Bambi Rescued

└ Tags: Angry Birds 2, Bambi, Bloom County, BLT, breast milk, chicken, comedy, current events, deer, funny, Gillian Anderson, headlines, humor, Japan, LAX, News, Rewritten Headlines, robots, Santa, Super Frat, Superman, Tony DiGerolamo, X-Files
Comments Off on Rewritten Headlines: BLT to Bambi
Jul15

Twitter in Focus: Jeff Bridges

by tonyd on July 15, 2015 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  Today’s contestant, the Dude, Jeff Bridges.  Let’s see what he’s tweeting, man!

@TheJeffBridges

May 26th:  “Mary Ellen shows us hers in her brilliant, unique, photos. We’re so fortunate to have these & so unfortunate to no longer have their source.”

Bummer.  This is Mary Ellen.

May 26th:  “Mary Ellen will be terribly missed.”

May 28th:  “I love how directors watch actors. Here’s Iain Softley watching me take a photo of @KevinSpacey in #KPAX. #TBT ”

Lots of photos.  Behind-the-scenes!  Very nice.

May 29th:  “Here’s a shot from #SeventhSon of me stabbing my double in the back. It’s now on Blu-Ray: http://uni.pictures/SeventhS0n  pic.twitter.com/9LgFCINf4I”

Movie star selfie?

June 4th:  “Meryl Streep: Trageoedia/Comoedia on the set of @thegivermovie. #TBT #TheGiver pic.twitter.com/TmJ7YsJ4kT”

Oh, yeah.  I remember that trailer.

June 11th:  “This rig captured every expression you can think of from every angle. @TronLegacy #TronLegacy #TBT pic.twitter.com/WRN4nY75dp”

The first movie is so underrated.

June 18th:  “The beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer in #TheFabulousBakerBoys. #TBT pic.twitter.com/UlWnuqxNgz”

Still looks good.  Looked real good in Dark Shadows, but, the movie was, ya know…

June 22nd:  “Summer is the hungriest time for millions of kids. Join our Summer Action Day and help change that: http://nokidhungry.org  #NoKidHungry”

Someone should send them an air conditioner too.  #NoKidSweating

June 25th:  “Me and the boys on the set of #TrueGrit. #TBT @BarryPepper ”

Neat!  Love the behind-the-scenes!

July 8th:  “The Dude Abides. @JasonReitman #Fassbender @pattonoswalt http://www.ew.com/article/2015/07/06/michael-fassbender-big-lebowski-live-read-jason-reitman?hootPostID=342fc2dfd8316ff101571ec4cfc94c00 …”

The Dude needs a sequel!  Here’s the pitch: Walter is framed for a murder of a Neo Nazi leader that he didn’t commit and the Dude has to clear his name.

July 9th:  “Here, @IsaRossellini is being fit for her role in #Fearless. #TBT pic.twitter.com/AZTfJO1bjG”

Oh, yeah.  I remember that.

July 9th:  “Here I am wearing the @kevinbacon mask in #RIPD. #TBT ”

Didn’t know Kevin Bacon was in that.  He (and you) are in everything.

Okay, time to rate Jeff’s tweets.  I give him a 6 for Insanity, a 9 for Mustness and a 10 for Style.  That’s an overall score of 8.3, but I’m rounding it up to 9 for the stellar photos.  You gotta follow the Dude.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email me here.

 

└ Tags: actor, comedy, funny, humor, Jeff Bridges, Michelle Pfeiffer, movie star, Super Frat, The Big Lebowski, the Dude, The Fabulous Baker Boys, Tony DiGerolamo, True Grit, tweet, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: Jeff Bridges
Jul13

Ten Reasons Why I Didn’t Go to Comic Con

by tonyd on July 13, 2015 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

1.  No hotel is worth $400 without a blowjob included.

2.  Every event on YouTube within hours of occurring.

3.  Can ogle cosplay girls in the privacy of own home without getting chastised.

4.  Instead of paying for overpriced convention center food, can eat equally delicious food from any dumpster for free.

5.  Can’t take another awkward conversation with Lou Feriggno about why I don’t need his autograph.

6.  Don’t have to travel to San Diego to buy comic shit.

7.  More interested in attending a con with more comic books than TV stars.

8.  Sick of local news reporters that do nothing but interview cosplayers.

9.  Do not want to explain to fans why I hate The Walking Dead and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV shows.

10.  Would rather spend weekend stuffing face and updating webcomics.

└ Tags: comedy, comic con, Cosplay, funny, hotel, humor, list, Lou Feriggno, San Diego, Super Frat, Ten Reasons Why, Tony DiGeroamo, top ten, TV stars
1 Comment
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