1.  I can’t get shit accomplished on heroin.
  2.  Starbucks rewards my addiction.
  3.  My fellow addicts would murder anyone trying to make it illegal.
  4.  Sleep is for the weak.
  5.  I’m four iced Trenta’s deep and I’m writing until 4am right now!
  6.  No one ever said, “It’s too early for caffeine.”
  7.  The kidney stones are totally worth it.
  8.  A study says it’s heart healthy.
  9.  I like to feel myself vibrating after drinking all day.
  10.  Red Bull is too sugary for me.