If your birthday is this week:  Norman Reedus will jump out of your birthday cake and shoot the zombie.  Well, the guy in zombie make up anyway.

Aries:  Your cosplay as the Crotchless Avenger doesn’t get you free entry into the con.

Taurus:  You’ll realize the large action figure you just purchased is a napping Verne Troyer.

Gemini:  You’ll tell everyone at the Game of Thrones panel that everyone dies this season and are immediately thrown out for giving away too many spoilers.

Lemini:  You’ll be excited to meet an amazing cosplayer dressed as the Hulk, until you realize it’s actually Lou Ferrigno.

Cancer:  The stars say, don’t eat anything, the line for the comic con bathroom is way longer than the line for the comic con snack bar.

Leo:  You will acquire a rare Star Trek collectible: William Shatner’s notes on moderation in acting.

Virgo:  You’ll witness a wookie with a huge mustard stain on his fur.

Libra:  You’ll be injured by a horde of stampeding Harley Quinns.

Scorpio:  Everyone you have sex with at comic con will walk away with that blue smurf body paint you’re wearing on their face and genitals.

Sagittarius:  PETA will protest you for capturing too many Pokemon.

Capricorn:  Room service will charge you extra for the trashcan full of Cheetos you order up to your room.

Aquarius:  You room party gets out of hand when Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Ben Affleck get their asses kicked by Christian Bale.

Pisces:  Someone asks if you think they’ll ever include famous comic book creators at Comic Con.