Hey bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die!  This week’s contestant is the great George Takei, Mr. Sulu from Star Trek!  Look at this guy!  I can’t believe he’s 74!  Let’s see if his tweets hold up as well as him.

April 9th:  “I want Johnny Knoxville order the house specials “spicy” at my favorite Thai restaurant. #JackHisWhiteAss

I’m not sure what this means.

April 9th:  “My “OhMyyy” ringtone is out like a senator in a bathroom stall. http://ow.ly/4vczg Benefits @TheOldGlobe #TheLoadinDownload

Take that Larry Craig!

April 9th:  “Thx “tweeps”–your RTs propelled my OhMyyy iPhone tweet to the top of the Twitter homepage! http://ow.ly/4wMQ4

Sulu was always the guy that had to monitor the countdown on the Enterprise.  Anyone could’ve done that.  I mean, it was the future, shouldn’t the talking the computer do that job?  Sulu had to steer the ship!

April 9th:  “LIBRA: The next item you’ll need out of storage will be in the far back left corner, underneath three boxes of books.”

And now, he’s a psychic comedy guy.  Who knew?  Well, I knew he was funny listening to him during the William Shatner Roast.

April 9th: “The Jersey Shore cast each got six figure raises. In related news, the rest of America didn’t. #ShoreBeatsWorking”

Wow, you were just on fire on April 9th, George.

April 10th: “Brad has forgiven my antics on @HowardStern, just in time for Sunday. #wrestling”‘

You’re a wild man, George. It’s so funny that you’re on the Stern show.

April 10th: “A new study shows eating carbs at night actually helps you lose weight. A related study shows that studies are useless.”

You can eat carbs. You just can’t eat your weight in carbs in less than two days.

April 10th: “What ever happened to Tang and Ovaltine? Where precisely do powdered drinks go to die? #Cremoratorium”

Globalization happened. Who wants to drink powdered stuff when I can go to the produce stand right now and get just about any fruit in the world? Powdered drinks will return, when we’re all broke. Those are drinks for poor people who are desperate for a little flavor with their water and poverty.

April 10th: “The key lesson from Inception: To keep the fantasy real, keep your top on you at all times. #OhMyyy”

I think the key lesson is, don’t think too hard during the movie or it will be totally ruined. If refunds were commonplace for movies, I think Inception would’ve lost a lot of money when people got into the parking lot and had time to think about it. Skiing? Seriously? Where’d that snow mountain come from? Who dreamed that?

April 11th: “Some sImple principles to live by: (1) Show up. (2) On time. (3) Work hard. (4) Do your best. (5) Floss.”

And, wear pants. Without the pants, your principles are nothing!

April 11th: “Google your name + #Charro. If you get any hits, you are truly special. #MakeCharroTrend”

I got a result, but I don’t remember appearing on the Love Boat with her.

April 11th: “Saw “Catch Me If You Can” in NYC. Glorious show with a sexy young lead & girls with legs legs legs! I may have to audition.”

Ah, stereotypes. You actors are all the same.

April 11th: “Family Guy gave me a hilarious “shout out” last night. Have you seen it? http://ow.ly/4y2g9 #TheSuluShow”

That was a funny bit.

23 hours: “The Japanese don’t actually eat raw fish. They told us that and have been laughing about “sushi” for years. #WowHeAteIt”

Dammit! And I stabbed all those people with my samurai sword after drawing it from its scabbard. Guess the joke’s on me.

8 hours ago: “GEMINI: Your trip to CoinStar is today’s highlight. Except for the ValueMeal you buy with the proceeds. #McYummy”

Snap-snap! Take that Coinstar users.

5 hours ago: “We use Twitter to get breaking news, Facebook to keep up with friends, and YouTube to watch cat videos. #OhMeowww”

Twitter to get breaking news?! Well, I suppose 140 characters is still more in depth than Fox.

2 hours ago: “The younger me in @AllegianceBway is played by @TellyLeung (Glee, Rent). Look, listen & admire him here: http://ow.ly/4yQAu”

The younger you? Oh, and I suppose all Asians look alike to you?! Racist.

Okay, let’s rate George’s tweets. I thought he had a nice balance. For Style, I give him an 8. For Insanity, definitely an 8. And for Mustness, a 9. That’s an 8.3. C’mon, how can you not follow the man that drove the Enterprise!

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