Hello, bros:
And welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die. Today’s contestant was found on the “Weird Twitter We Follow” website I stumbled across. Let’s see if Satan’s Thong (not to be confused with the Devil’s Panties) lives up to its weirdness.
16 hours ago: “Do Cannibals refer to homeless people as Free Range?”
That seems to me more like “farm raised”. Athletes like Michael Phelps sound more “Free Range” to me.
16 hours ago: “I’m fucked! Just ran a marathon to protest against rape. I tried saying no, but they wouldn’t have it.”
Dah-dum-dum. Keesh.
13 hours ago: “Xbox Live: satans thong is currently Online. Playing Batman: Arkham Asylum. Story Mode Penitentiary. (Xbox Live Nation)”
Yeah, that game is pretty much the shit. Holds the Guiness Book of World Record for best reviewed video game. That is until I finally get an XBOX Super Frat game going.
11 hours ago: “Right. Off to docs. Wish me luck!!”
Good luck, Satan!
9 hours ago: “Docs gave me pills. God forbid we tackle the cause of it, let’s just throw pills at the symptoms. Can I have my medical degree now please?”
Yes, and I’m sure if he gave you nothing, you’d be much happier, yes? “Please, go home and suffer now. I have nothing for you. Good day.”
9 hours ago: “You know you watch too much porn when filling your car & just before you top it off, you pull the hose out and spray it all over the roof.”
It’s why I no longer take my laptop to the gas station.
9 hours ago: “My uncle was a terrible ventrilaqust he used to stick his hand up my ass and ask me not to say anything……”
But could he do it while drinking water?
9 hours ago: “No + Rohypnol = Yes”
You may want to try this new invention first. In America, we call it beer.
9 hours ago: “Rohypnol. Because she’s worth it.”
Da-dum-dum. Keesh.
8 hours ago: “My girlfriend asked me to suprise her for her birthday. So I raped her dad.”
If she reads this Twitter, she may have saw that one coming.
8 hours ago: “Ever notice that most night time TV has people doing sign language in the corner? It can only mean deaf people are all vampires.”
Of course, their ears are full of blood.
8 hours ago: “My mate asked why I have empty milk bottles in my fridge. I told him it’s incase someone wants their coffee black.”
Guy walks up to me, asks me what my dog is like. I say, he has no nose. He asks me, “How does he smell” and I say, “Awful!”
8 hours ago: “What’s the difference between masturbation and fucking your cat? About 10 beers.”
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because I threw him up there to knock down the monkey. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the chicken.
8 hours ago: “Rohypnol – For when you know she wants you, she just doesn’t know it yet.”
Okay, now you’re creeping me out.
8 hours ago: “I get a little more worried each time I mention Rohypnol and gain a new follower.”
I feel the same way every time I post “Top Ten Stalker Links”.
8 hours ago: “Part 8 of the 10 part Joke blogs!!! Check it out!”
As Dice Clay would say, “Ooooooooohhhh!”
8 hours ago: “I like to answer my front door naked and start to ‘absent mindedly’ fondle my junk to see how long before they say something/walk away.”
That was you? Well, if you want to buy my girl scout cookies, you’re gonna need some pants.
5 hours ago: “Xbox Live: satans thong is currently Online. Playing Batman: Arkham Asylum. Story Mode Botanical Gardens. (Xbox Live Nation)”
You know, your jokes might be more offensive if you weren’t so distracted by playing video games. I’m just saying.
Short, but sweet, that’s how we like our Tweets. Satan’s Thong is a fun time to be sure, not quite as funny as Johannes Vasquez, but who is? Let’s rate ST: I give him a 5 for Style, he’s a bit all over the place. 7 for Mustness, kudos for regular updates. Finally, an 8 for Insanity: You have to be nuts to write a comedy tweet, it’s a lotta fuckin’ work. That’s an overall score of 6.7. Not bad. Worth checking out. If you have a Twitter worth checking out, send the link to: Twitter in Focus.
with Tony DiGerolamo
