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May31

Frat Boy At the Movies: X-men: Days of Future Past

by tonyd on May 31, 2014 at 12:01 am

FratBoyATtheMovies

X-Men: Days of Future Past is a good film, but it’s also a testament to Hollywood ego that one man’s name seems to be absent from the credits.  Now I saw the movie, enjoyed it, but I also looked for his name.  I might’ve missed it.  I just checked the IMDB and it wasn’t there.  If it was there, it’s definitely not where it should be: ahead of everyone else’s.  The name I’m referring to is:

CHRIS CLAREMONT

When it comes to the X-men in their current incarnation, Claremont is the guy that made it happen.  He took, what was essentially a failing, canceled comic book, revamped it and made it the number one seller at Marvel Comics.  Almost every idea on the screen is his, including the iconic name for the story.

Yes, there were some changes and some of those changes actually made the story better, at least within the context of the movie continuity.  (I can’t give it away without a spoiler, but it does fix a few things for the next film.)  The impact of the metaphor about racism was definitely scaled back.  (In Claremont’s version, Kitty Pryde compares the “Mutie” slur with that of a well known racial slur.)  And Kitty Pryde’s role is greatly reduced, but these changes can be forgiven.

It’s hard to forgive not thanking the man whose ideas grace almost every second of screen time.  Without Claremont, Wolverine would be another lame, spandex cartoon character with an accent.

Now, Claremont was a work-for-hire guy.  He didn’t create most of the X-men.  What he did create was their dynamic.  The Logan/Scott/Jean love triangle, the various dramas the X-men are well-known for and this story, generally considered the peak of the X-men.  It spawned the Dark Phoenix, another popular spin off.  I mean, this guy wrote the comic for almost 20 years.  Even the ideas that came after Claremont were based on what he established, so that includes Bishop and Blink.  (Lee and Kirby started the whole thing and even though the comic failed, they should get a thank you too.)

Back in his hey-day, Claremont’s comics were pure gold.  Everyone bought them at the comic book store and comic book store owners would always order about five extra.  After a month, they mark up the price and place them in the back issue bins.  They often sold because the fan base was constantly expanding.  Sure, Marvel had marketing and money, but Claremont’s story sold.  The word of mouth on X-men was 100% positive for a long time.  And the pay offs in the story often took years, which made them more epic.

Now that they’re making millions upon millions in a movie, I’d like to think Claremont go a piece, but my guess would be that he didn’t.  That’s fine, I suppose, he signed his contract and made his money back in the 80’s.  As far as I know, he’s not panhandling.  But still, without him, none of this would be happening.  I seriously question whether the entire Marvel company would be where it is today without him.

So what do I rate this movie?  I’m not going to rate it.  It’s the sort of movie you’ll like if you’re a fan and think is okay if you’re not.  The bottom line is, the comic was better.  That’s not to say the people involved aren’t talented, they are.  Jennifer Lawrence, Hugh Jackman—  Everyone gives a great performance.  Comic book reference abound and they are solid.  The appearance of Peter Maximoff is the highlight of the movie.  I can’t fault fans for liking it.  I liked it, even though I secretly wished it had been a terrible train wreck.  (That’s probably coming with the next movie, as the after credits shows you the next villain.)

I guess I’d get some kind of smug satisfaction if the filmmakers hadn’t followed the comic, but instead inserted their own half-baked ideas and screwed it up.  Then at least you’d know that they didn’t even really read or care about the comic books.  But no, clearly the guys that made this movie read the comics and while they deserve credit for integrating them in a smooth way, they really ought to acknowledge those who first did the work.  And in case you’re thinking that’s too hard, keep in mind that most of the people whose name you see on the screen at the top tier are millionaires or close to millionaires.  And with a budget of $200 million that already raked in $350 worldwide, is it really that big of a deal to shell out a few hundred thousand to the comic book guys to put their names on the credits?

I don’t think it’s such an effort for a group of millionaires.

So see it or don’t.  I’m just going to log in my tiny little protest by not rating the movie, bros.  And let me thank Chris Claremont for a great story based on Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s creations.  He deserves it.

 

└ Tags: Bishop, Blink, Chris Claremont, comic books, film, Frat Boy at the Movies, Hollywood, Hugh Jackman, Jack Kirby, Jennifer Lawrence, Kitty Pryde, Marvel Comics, movie, protest, rating, review, Stan Lee, Super Frat, the 80's, Tony DiGerolamo, Wolverine, writer, X-men: Days of Future Past
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May30

Rewritten Headlines: Turkish YouTube to CNN

by tonyd on May 30, 2014 at 12:01 am

RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

Turkish Supply of Cat Videos Saved

World War 3 Still in the Works

Cavity Creeps Can’t Hold Their Liquor

Rich and Powerful Guy Defends Other Rich and Powerful Guys

Horrible Government Worker Still Has Job

U.S. Officials Too Stupid To Resist Online Scam

Nerds Do Something Cool

Fat Scientists Have Break Through

Male Athletes Disgusting

CNN Doing Usual Bang Up Job

└ Tags: bacon, Bloomberg, breast milk, Cavity Creeps, CNN, comedy, funny, General Shinseki, headlines, humor, Iran, News, parody, Red Wine, Rewritten Headlines, Rewritten News, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, Turkish YouTube, website, World War 3
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May28

Twitter in Focus: Jason L. Voorhees

by tonyd on May 28, 2014 at 12:01 am

Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is that hockey masked, murderer from Crystal Lake, Jason L. Voorhees.  I’ve always suspected he had lots to say and since he can’t speak, he tweets.  Let’s see what he’s tweeting.

@JasonLVoorhees

May 22nd:  “My machete scares all the girls from the yard, ‘Cause they’re like, it’s metal and large, Damn right, it’s metal and large…”

That’s copyright infringement, but then again, who would be crazy enough to sue?

May 22nd:  “OMFG. I hate hippies. I just killed a few and now my machete smells like patchouli and failure. So fucking gross.”

Jason may be related to Erik Cartman.

May 23rd:  “Since Friday The 13th is so close, I’m taking this weekend off. So all you fuckers, go buck wild. It’s all good. Or maybe I’m fibbin’.”

Ha!  Nice try!

May 23rd:  “Everybody Lives – REM #MakeASongDepressing”

“Losing my Machete”, “Don’t Go Back to Crystal Lake” and “It’s the End of the Movie and I Know (And No One Else Dies)”.

May 23rd:  “My favorite sexual position? Banging bitches in sleeping bags up against trees. #classicme”

Okay, what’s the “L” stand for?  I’m guessing “Larry”, because it rhymes with scary.

May 23rd:  “Hehehe. I’m a little stinker sometimes. http://www.adventuresinpoortaste.com/2012/01/23/the-top-5-meanest-things-jason-voorhees-has-ever-done/ …”

What?  How can they not mention squeezing that dude’s head in Jason 3-D?  Of course, I was meaner, throwing grapes into the crowd.

May 23rd:  “I’m more of a deep cutter than deep thinker… but what’evs. pic.twitter.com/jWNhiGj72Z“

You always were the thinking man’s maniac.

May 23rd:  “If you’re thinking of interesting summer destinations, this one’s killer. pic.twitter.com/gO6FLYQfNq“

I remember when Leatherface freed the slaves and then killed them.

56 minutes ago:  “17 days until Friday The 13th. I’m taking extra stalks around the lake to get ready. Man am I slow. So very very slow. Or am I?”

Sure, until it goes to a close up.

50 minutes ago:  “A wise man once said… . How the fuck should I know. No wise man ever set foot in Camp Crystal Lake.”

That’s why you never see old people there.

Okay, let’s rate Jason’s tweets.  Good stuff.  I mean, for a psychotic, supernatural murderer, he tweets some pretty interesting stuff.  Behind the scenes, a few jokes—  If he could talk, he wouldn’t be such a bad guy until he killed you.  I give Jason an 8 for Style, an 8 for Mustness and a 10 for Insanity.  That’s an overall score of 8.6, but hey, he’s also a moviestar, so I will round up to 9.  Follow Jason, before he follows you.

And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

└ Tags: comedy, Friday the 13th movies, funny, humor, Jason, Jason L. Voorhees, machete, Monster, rating, review, Super Frat, Tony DiGerolamo, tweets, Twitter, Twitter in Focus
1 Comment
May26

Life Skills for Fanboys: The Hollywood Double Edged Sword

by tonyd on May 26, 2014 at 12:01 am

SF Tony Avatar

 Life Skills for Fanboys: The Hollywood Double Edged Sword

 written by Tony DiGerolamo, Copyright 2014

To further my goal of helping fellow fanboys, I have included an index of links of previous columns with their topics.  Don’t take it personal, I’m just trying to help.  Previous columns are indexed at the end.

The Comics High

Comic book fanboys are in their hey-day.  Every Marvel movie seems to be doing gangbusters at the box office (and most, deservedly so).  They are announcing more comic book movies every day.  But I’m going to make a prediction here based on my own experience in Hollywood.

The heady highs give way to terrible lows.

I know, I know.  I’m a nay-sayer.  A Negative Nancy.  Star Wars is coming back with the original cast, the Star Trek franchise is bound to go a third movie before they reboot it again and Avengers 2, well, even I’m psyched to see that but—

You have to understand Hollywood.  It’s a money, image and the “hot thing” of the moment.

Back in the Day

When you’re a screenwriter and you’re looking to pitch your spec screenplays or write new ones, typically producers will seek what’s hot.  During the days of the X-Files, every producer wanted Sci-Fi conspiracy theory scripts.  Before that it was thrillers and before that, horror movies.  (Although horror movies are a perpetual request for movie producers for money reasons.)  You might ask, “Are they asking for superhero scripts?”  Short answer, no.

There was a brief window—  And I saw it at L.A. Wizard World one year—  Where movie producers were literally gobbling up comic books they could option.  Their assistants showed up to comic book shows looking for the latest thing.  (It was great for sales!)  But Hollywood (ie money guys or producers) they don’t read anything, even with pictures.  (I had a producer who tried to option one of my comics, he literally had not read past the opening page.  He held the open comic in front of him while we were on the phone and even pitched some of my own ideas back to me, because he only heard the concept and hadn’t read the comic itself.)

When it’s Over, it’s REALLY Over

Enjoy it while it lasts, fanboys.  I’m going to predict that superheroes are going to jump the shark with Superman vs. Batman: Dawn of Justice.  Now I have my own personal prejudices when it comes to Ben Affleck (he’d be better off directing this movie, rather than being in it), but I think the last Superman movie was kind of shaky in terms of fan reaction.  (Some of it was downright hostile because of the events of the movie.)  That and the sad Batman meme, signals to me that the cracks are beginning to show.  When the next big superhero thing finally tanks (along with a bunch of little ones, say, something like this) Hollywood will start looking for the next “thing”.

I don’t know what that next thing is.  It will have a window to arrive right around the time of the “tanking”.  Some obscure, non-superhero, non-comic book movie will just explode.  It becomes a phenom and in comparison to the comic book movie, everything comic book will look very, very “played”.

What Happens Next

I predict, that at that moment, you’ll see studios start to cut back.  Certain superhero and comic book movies will already be in production, but the budgets will be cut.  You’ll see big name talent move else where, possibly like this.  This usually coincides with a studio shake up of execs.  New guys come in and they don’t want the projects of the old guys to do well.  Rumor has it, that’s what happened to X-men 3.

With the talent vacuum, the superhero movies tend to do even worse just when they need to make a comeback to stay in vogue.  And once one embarrassing movie really stumbles across the screen, it’s over Johnny.  It’s over!

Things will return to their pre-comic book movie days, although probably without Stan Lee roaming L.A. looking for a producer for Spiderman.

The Other Shoe

You might say, “Well, that’s not big deal.  These things are cyclical and it couldn’t last forever.  So what?  In a few years, they’ll do it again.”  Yeah, you’re right on that point, straw man.  Hollywood loves reruns.  The problem is, they spent a shit ton of money buying both major comic book companies.  Disney owns Marvel and Time-Warner owns DC.  When comic book movies go out of vogue, someone in accounting is going to ask, “Why are we still publishing comics?”

You see, no matter how you slice it, comic book publishing just doesn’t compare to movies.  Disney already licenses their characters.  Licensing is a win-win for them.  You pay Disney up front and if the comic makes money, you pay them again.  They can’t lose in that deal, even if the licensee does.  So why take the risk in publishing your own comics in-house?  You can save millions by outsourcing it to another company and still have all the control.

I’m not saying it’s going to happen now, but maybe, say within five years.  DC and Marvel will be shipped to L.A. and just be another division of a multi-national corporation.  And divisions get cut all the time.

From there, you can pretty much do the math.  Comic book stores evaporate.  Diamond, well they probably shift focus to some other merch.  And the quality, consistency and storylines that you complain about now?  You wish they were still running with the outsourcing and sporadic issues that come out.  Good luck getting your comics at Barnes & Noble, assuming they’re even still open.

The comic-pocalypse ain’t here yet fanboys, but I can smell it.  It’s on the horizon.  It’s coming.

Anyhow, that’s my prediction on this day, May 26, 2014.  Mark it well!

Previous Columns
Obesity at Cons
The Art of Conversation
Grooming
The Line Between Fans and Pros
Geek Elitism
Convention Panels
Convention Volunteers
Food Gifts
Women and Cons
Get Your Room Party Together
Stop Bringing Your Kids to Cons
The Face of Geek Needs Work
Fixing the Face of Geek
Franchise Worship
Presenting Your Project
The New Image?
Stop Trying to Make Geek Cool
 Rethinking the Comic Book Con
Zombie Stories Should Still Be About People
Geek Stereotypes and the Big Bang Theory
Con Locations
Traveling to Cons on the Cheap
Con Economics
Comics, Sexism and Trolling
Searching for the Words
How to Fix Comics?  Stop Reading Them

Shopping at the Con

└ Tags: Avengers 2, Barnes and Noble, Batman vs. Superman, Ben Affleck, box office, comic book movies, comic books, comic-pocalypse, Dawn of Justice, DC, Disney, Doom, ending, gloom, Hollywood, L.A., Life Skills for Fanboys, Marvel, movies, Super Frat, superheroes, Tony DiGerolamo
Comments Off on Life Skills for Fanboys: The Hollywood Double Edged Sword
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