Mar28

Fat Guy Eats: Marlton Diner

by tonyd on March 28, 2016 at 12:01 am

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Restaurant: Marlton Diner

Address:  781 W Route 70, Marlton, NJ 08053

Food:  Diner

Price:  Average

Portions:  Decent

Taste:  Pretty Good

Service:  Excellent

Atmosphere:  Diner

So two or three years ago, I went to the Marlton Diner and had just about the worst experience at a NJ diner ever.  Our young servers pegged me and my friend as low tippers, I guess.  They were rude, slow and the food was pretty bad.  For a couple of years, we boycotted this place, despite the fact it was the only diner in perfect driving range for us to meet.  A couple of years later, my friend and I decided to meet there again.  It was late, most other things were closed and hanging out in the Dunkin Donuts can be depressing.  We figured, if we stuck to the basics and prepared ourselves for bad service, we could tolerate it.  Fortunately, it was a much better experience.  They had remodeled and, I guess, had new managers.  The idiots that served us before seemed to be gone, so the Marlton Diner went back on my list.

On Saturday night, we had planned to stay in, but my friend called and we hadn’t eaten dinner yet because we had a very late lunch at Di’nics.  I thought, “What the Hell, let’s eat at the Marlton.  I can do another column.”  Anyhow, it was great.

The Missus got Chicken and Waffles, which is one of her faves.  It comes with syrup, honey mustard and sour cream.  Not exactly health food, so I steered clear.  I went for a Souvlaki wrap and kettle chips.  We also both got side salads.  The side salads were pretty huge and totally fresh.  Not a wilted leaf in sight and very clean along with the tomatoes and cucumbers.  (Good choice on the cherry tomatoes, chef, btw.)  My souvlaki was juicy, tasty.  My kettle chips (I know, not very healthy) were an excellent alternative to the horrible battered fries everyone seems to be serving these days.  Kudos Marlton, for giving me another choice.  Although I did get a few burned potato bits on my plate.

The waitress was super friendly and filled my iced tea glass seven times.  (It was a small glass.)  She also gave me two lemon slices every single time.  Very nice.

So, in summation, the Marlton Diner is back.  Although the manager felt it was important to mop the floor while I was heading out around 11pm, which seemed weird.  All in all, a great experience.  Would totally go again.

I give the Marlton Diner 8 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

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Mar27

Fat Guy Eats: Di’nics

by tonyd on March 27, 2016 at 2:29 am

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Restaurant: Di’nics

Address:  310 Blackhorse Pike  West Collingswood Heights, NJ 08059

Food:  Sandwiches

Price:  Very Reasonable

Portions:  Big

Taste:  Mind blowing

Service:  Very Good

Atmosphere:  Sandwich Shop

So the Missus and I had plans for Saturday Dim Sum, but the rest of the group had to cancel.  So since Dim Sum without at least three isn’t as fun, we decided to go find a new place.  The Missus wanted sandwiches and I found this place online.  I had no idea this place had been around since the 70’s, practically in my back yard.

The restaurant is located on a busy area of 168 where there’s a median, so you have to be heading south to turn into the parking lot.  Otherwise, you have to go past it and turn around or turn too soon like I did and come out a street down from the parking lot.  There is a “Parking Only” sign for a place called Via Mia in the back, but I didn’t see another place that shared the parking lot so whatever.

Anyhow, we went in.  There’s only about 5 tables and probably 24 seats?  The waitress was on it, but the place was full.  They specialize in roast beef sandwiches, so naturally we ordered that with provolone cheese.  I got the spinach with mine and some fries to split.  No unsweetened iced tea in the soda fountain, but fortunately they still had two bottles in the cooler.  The place was running out of bottled drink and I got the impression it was because so many people were coming in and out of the place.

Our sandwiches came out almost immediately.  We were pretty hungry, but I have to say, biting into that sandwich was life-changing.  Juicy, tasty, garlicy—  Holy shit they were good.  The garlic came from how they cooked the spinach and I thanked God I added it.  It really added to the taste.  The fries, fresh cut.  Crispy, hot, tasty.  Oh, man, the whole thing hit the spot.  And the sandwich was pretty huge.  So tasty I could’ve downed another, but I’m trying to cut back.

Di’nic’s is the shit!  My only tiny complaint was the room was kinda noisy and I was in no mood.  But hey, it’s a sandwich shop.  Get take out.  It’ll be awesome. trust me.

I give Dinics 9 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

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Mar27

Your Easter Fratoscope

by tonyd on March 27, 2016 at 12:01 am

FratoScopeHeader

If your birthday is this week:  The librarians insist that you move your birthday party to some place else because you’re cramping their style.

Aries:  Your roommate drunkenly reveals that he’s a secret agent and tries to kill you, but fortunately he sucks at his job.

Taurus:  The Colonel of KFC asks you to kill him and take his place.

Gemini:  The Starbucks barista will write “Shit Nutz” on your latte.

Lemini:  A small town sheriff will drive you out of town and you vow to get revenge, but you’re lame, so you don’t.

Cancer:  You’ll summon a demon, but he’ll insist you’re just “not right” for him.

Leo:  Donald Trump’s goons break into your car and steal all your change or at least that’s what you tell the cops.

Virgo:  Taco Bell will steal your formula for their next taco, which is just basically a taco with lots more cheese.

Libra:  The stars say, doing your taxes in the nude does not get you an additional ten percent discount.

Scorpio:  Your life story becomes popular enough to be turned into a soft porn movie.

Sagittarius:  You will overfill your cream puffs and experience a delicious explosions.

Capricorn:  Your Frisbee golf game devolves into an argument, then a fistfight and then a campaign for president.

Aquarius:  You will wake up in a stranger’s pajamas.

Pisces:  Pressure from Big Easter keeps you from making any Easter jokes in your horoscope post.

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Mar26

Fat Guy Eats: Short Hills Deli

by tonyd on March 26, 2016 at 12:01 am

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Restaurant:

Address:

Food:  Jewish Deli/Diner

Price:  Moderate

Portions:  Big

Taste:  Good

Service:  Outstanding

Atmosphere:  Diner-like

Short Hills is another one of my regular stops.  It’s part diner and part Jewish deli.  I would go there more often if it was open late.

This trip was an early dinner with the Missus.  She needed a giant bowl of Matza ball soup and blue berry blintzes.  I had a turkey club and a side salad.  The highlight for me is always the free health salad and pickles, served complimentary ahead of the food.  Always very briny and tasty.

My sandwich had a decent amount of meat and bacon.  Didn’t taste any mayo.  Not sure if I had to ask for it.  Definitely could’ve used fresher tomatoes.  My salad had a couple of pieces of wilted lettuce, but for the most part was okay.  Matza ball soup was top notch and the Missus enjoyed the blintzes.

I would say, out of all my trips to Short Hills, this was the lowest on the totem pole.  Good, but not great.  What saved it was our waitress, who was spot on, very friendly and brought everything we asked for: extra chips, napkins, refills—  Weren’t a lot of customers because of Good Friday, but still, it was appreciated.

I give Short Hills Deli 7 out of 10 keggers.

kegkegkegkegkegkegkeg

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