May05

Ten Things I Expect an 11 Year-Old to Ask For in a Sports Contract

by tonyd on May 5, 2018 at 12:01 am

An 11 year-old softball prodigy has already been signed to the NCAA for the Florida Gators.  Here now what I expect is in her contract.

  1.  No games during Teen Titans marathons.
  2.  Gets a locker full of Skittles with all the yellows removed.
  3.  Gets to hug the mascot before and after game.
  4.  If she scrapes a knee, bandaids must have Hello Kitties on them.
  5.  Big League Chew must be provided at all games.
  6.  Her dolls get reserved seating up front every game.
  7.  Gets to text friends on iPhone while in the dug out.
  8.  Sleepover at stadium with friends at least twice a year.
  9.  Gets pizza party regardless of a win or loss after game.
  10.  Happy faces have to drawn on all the balls.
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