The Oscars are coming.  You know that award show that everyone watches and then complains that it sucked and everyone got the wrong awards?  Here’s ten other things I’d rather do.

  1.  My taxes.
  2.  Make a video where I get kicked in the balls.
  3.  Uncomfortably explain to a homeless guy why I can’t give him money.
  4.  Eat some sand.
  5.  Shit my pants and then do the clean up.
  6.  Shit my pants in the car and then do the clean up.
  7.  Work for the Trump Administration, except in PR.
  8.  Explain to anyone over 70 how the Internet works.
  9.  Figure out the totally obtuse navigation system on my Hyundai Sonata.
  10.  Watch the Golden Globes.

BTW, I have no Oscar picks because I don’t care about the Oscars.  Fuck them.  I’m watching Netflix and Rick & Morty reruns.