TonyAngryAs a screenwriter, I have a lot of conflicting feelings about some movies.  Some because the people in that movie I know or would like to know, but mostly because I’m passionate about movies.  And I really hate to see some very obvious mistakes get greenlit.   So here now is another edition of Why I’m Not Seeing These Movies;  Early 2016.  BTW, I still haven’t seen Star Wars yet.  Mostly because my Spider Sense tells me it sucks.

Ride Along 2:  Because how will I follow the story without seeing Ride Along?

13 Hours:  Michael Bay explosions and lens flare.  The end.

Norm of the North:  WTF.  Cartoons used to be something they never make.  Now they won’t stop.  Pass.

Dirty Grandpa:  Robert DeNiro used to be one of those actors that only appeared in critically acclaimed movies.  Guess he’s saving for retirement.  I’ll pass.

The Boy:  Unless it’s about Bart Simpson, no.  If I want haunted puppets, I’ll rent the Puppet Master.

Kung Fu Panda 3:  See previous comment about cartoons.  I’d rather watch something that’s 11 minutes long and amazing on Adult Swim, then two hours of Meh.

Deadpool:  Dear Lord, let this movie open and die already.  I’m so sick of seeing the trailer.  I think this character is totally overrated.

Ben Hur:  Wha-?  Jesus Christ, just stop, Hollywood, stop.

Fuck all these movies.  Here’s ones that I actually want to see:  Zoolander 2 (looks fun), Hail, Caesar! (from the Cohen Brothers), Witch (which looks terrifying), the Revenant (Tom Hardy is an incredible actor) and Ip Man 3 (saw the first two, can’t wait for this).  I may actually have to spend some money at the movie theater in the next few weeks.