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The holidays are upon us.  But Santa doesn’t bring everything in that sleigh.  Here now are Ten Things You’ll Never See Under a Christmas Tree.

  1.  Another Christmas Tree ( I mean, really, that’s overkill.  Even Santa is not that into Christmas.)
  2. A dead body  (Santa could drop that literally anywhere on Earth, he’s not carrying down a chimney.)
  3. Live insects (They’d never survive the trip.)
  4. Lava (Not even Santa can carry hot lava.)
  5. Reindeer-related foodstuffs (For obvious reasons.)
  6. Star Wars: The Force Awakens Bootlegs (Because even Santa can’t fight a Disney lawsuit.)
  7. Money  (Santa can’t make money.  That’s illegal.)
  8. Light sensitive fireworks  (Cause the moment you’d open them, they’d go off.)
  9. Vampire  (There’s no such thing.)
  10. Something someone got last year  (Santa never regifts.)