If you don’t know who Rob Ford is yet, he’s the wacky mayor of Toronto who has admitted to smoking crack and was caught on video making murder threats.  How much lower can he go?  I’d like to speculate.  Here now are Ten Things I Expect From Rob Ford.

1.  Brand the words “Da Mayor” across ass.

2.  Start a fist fight with Russel Crowe.

3.  Huff paint and do guest spot on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

4.  Steal car, drive it on the ice during the Stanley Cup.

5.  Give a totally serious political speech completely naked and never acknowledge own nakedness.

6.  Rename several streets in Toronto, Shatner Blvd, Shatner Street, Shatner Drive, etc.

7.  Dye hair bright blue and keep announcing to constituents that the “Collar matches the cuffs”.

8.  Punch a sports mascot right in the junk on live TV.

9.  Begin hording poops in Mason jars.

10.  Wave his dick at a U.S. president.