Your pledgemaster may not know the Periodic Table of Elements, Algebra, grammar or even what major he is.  But he does know how to sit in judgement.  Behold!  Your pledgemaster speaks!

Bad Lox:  Not Fratty

Dammit, when I order the bagel and lox breakfast platter, the lox needs to be fresh!  Not give me the shits for seven fucking hours!  I wouldn’t have minded it so much, but I shit myself in a pair of shorts that I like and now I have to replace several of the beer cans in my chair.  Not Fratty.  Although very amusing for the bros.

The Simpsons Tapped Out Game:  Fratty as Fuck

If there’s a better reason for an iPad, I haven’t seen it.  I can’t stop playing.  Seriously.

A weekend without A Game of Thrones:  Not Fratty

I need to see some titties and get into a sword fight.

NASA’s 3D Pizza Printer:  Fratty

Did you see this?  Uh, shit yeah.  Fax me a pepperoni with extra cheese please.

Alligators Returning to Long Island:  Not Fratty

Isn’t there enough problems with traffic?  Now we have to worry about cats going missing?

Edward Snowden:  Fratty as Hell

C’mon, it took brass balls to do what he did.  And check out his ex.  Nice!  Dat ass is the frattiest thing I’ve seen all day.

Angelina Jolie’s Boob Surgery:  Very Not Fratty

WHY?!  >Sob!<  WHY?!  We just wanted one more look!  Those boobs never hurt anyone!  One more look!