Ingredients:  One pound cake, Bird’s Custard mix, whipped cream, assorted fruit, milk chocolate chips, one bottle raspberry brandy, four bottles of Rolling Rock, one deep trifle bowl, one girlfriend.

Step 1:  Get into argument with girlfriend because you “never do shit”.

Step 2:  Go to her Facebook page, find out English Trifle is her favorite dessert.

Step 3.  Search Internet for Trifle recipes.  Figure if that douchebag Ramsey can do it, so can you.

Step 4:  Purchase ingredients, drink Rolling Rock while regretting decision to make trifle.

Step 5:  Cut up pound cake into flat pieces.  Soak in brandy on baking tray.

Step 6:  Take swig of brandy, decide it’s too sweet, drink another Rolling Rock.

Step 7:  Mix up Bird’s Custard, reward self with brandy shot.

Step 8:  Mix whipped cream, reward self with brandy shot.

Step 9:  Wash and slice fruit, reward self with brandy shot.

Step 10:  Get thirsty.  Drink another Rolling Rock, reward self with brandy shot.

Step 11:  Line bowl with brandy-soaked cake.  Drink unabsorbed brandy from baking tray.

Step 12:  Pour entire bowl of custard in.  Remember you’re supposed to layer custard with other stuff.

Step 13:  Scoop out custard while drinking fourth Rolling Rock, blame girlfriend for dessert mess.

Step 14:  Call girlfriend.  Leave incoherent angry message about her “custard shit”.

Step 15:  Reward self with brandy shot.

Step 16:  Pour fruit in bowl, realize stems and seeds were included, say “Fuck it.”

Step 17:  Pour whipped cream, forget layering again.  Say, “Fuck it.”

Step 18:  Pour in rest of ingredients.  Stir up bowl even though recipe doesn’t call for that.

Step 19:  Regret phone call, call back girlfriend to apologize incoherently.

Step 20:  Finish off brandy bottle while eating trifle and crying.

Step 21:  Throw up in trifle bowl, pass out.

Step 22:  Wake up later, place trifle in fridge not realizing it’s topped with vomit.

Step 23:  Pass out in room.  Awaken later to find frat brothers eating trifle.

Step 24:  Laugh and vomit.