Bros, please welcome our new columnist, Pledgemaster Dick.  As pledgemaster, it is his job to determine what is fratty and what is not.  Take heed bros, your pledgemaster speaks.

True Blood:  Not Fratty

Although this show has tremendous quality boobage, the dudity negates it.  I don’t need to see simulated DP in the middle of my HBO shows.  That just ends up as a lot of man-ass.  And anything this close to Twlight cannot be fratty.

Virgin Galactic:  Fratty

As if being a badass millionaire were not enough, Sir Richard Branson is poised to make zero-G hummers a regular part of his week.  Most fratty.

Lawn Chair Balloon Flight:  Kinda Fratty

I can’t think of a better place to have a beer than 4,000 feet in the air, but if you don’t bring a cooler what’s the point?

Joe Paterno:  Not Fratty

For a guy that had access to so many bruisers, you think he would’ve used them at least once to put the smack down on Jerry Sandusky.  Apparently he was too busy making sure he got paid.  Not Fratty Joe.  Not Fratty at all.

Paulina Gretzky:  Mostly Fratty

The Great One has a great daughter you’d like to bang.  Totally fratty, except for the fact that she’s signed to be an Adam Sandler movie.

Hotels Ask to Remove Porn:  Not Very Fratty

Hotel porn sucks to begin with and is far too expensive, now you’re going to take that away?  How about unblocking the filters on the Internet?  Then again, if you’ve gone to a hotel room to spank it, you should probably rethink why you’re in a hotel.

Breaking Bad:  Very Fratty

Remember when the trailer of this show looked like Malcolm in the Middle’s dad running around the desert in his underwear?  The show is unbelievably badass and full of fratty.

San Diego Comic Con:  Not Fratty

Sorry nerds, but no matter how many times the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Workaholics come by, this convention will not be fratty.  Either add an adult film star section and a beer sampling area or just go back to comic books.

Eight Year Old Climbs Kilimanjaro:  Extremely Fratty

The fact that this kid did anything at eight years old is already pretty fratty, but climbing a dangerous mountain and training a year?  That’s fucking fratty.

Think something is fratty or not?  Let the pledgemaster decide and email him here.