Hey Bros!

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.  Today’s contestant is the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli.  Let’s see if her tweets are just as mean.


December 22nd:  “Man dies after eating cocaine hidden in brother’s butt. You know what they say: Crack PLUS crack kills!”

That’s going to be a Darwin Awards winner.

December 23rd:  “Hilarious @HuffingtonPost piece by best writer ever @AlanZweibel — who happens to be working on my B’way show! http://say.ly/zbA1aLf

Another stand up comic on Broadway?  Is this just a ploy to drive comedy club tickets up to $200?

December 23rd:  “NJ Nets sign Kris Humphries. Poor guy! He’s gonna go from being married 72 days to losing 72 games!”

On the bright side, he can only be traded up.

December 23rd:  “Floyd Mayweather gets 90 days 4 spousal abuse. Michael Buffer coming 2 house 2 yell “Let’s Get Ready 2 Rumble” totally uncalled for!”

Still undefeated.  Can’t argue with stats.

December 24th:  “Alec Baldwin no longer wants to be NYC Mayor. Instead, he’ll focus on becoming President of American Airlines! #MyFellowAngryPassenger

Sometimes, I think he really believes he’s a rich executive that runs NBC.

December 24th:  “Enjoy the best of the holidays, Meanies! Delayed flights, Dad’s drunk inappropriate jokes, and your bulimic Aunt wretching in the can!”

Oh, that was that noise.

December 24th:  “”Live With Kelly” ratings plunge without Regis. Yeah, that’s what every hausfrau w/a gunt wants to see – a perky blonde w/a flat stomach!”

It’s the only reason I would get up for it.

December 25th:  “Mel Gibson divorce finalized, is officially single. One place you WON’T find him looking for a new lady: JDate! #happyhanukkah

Ba-dum-dum!  Keesh!

December 25th:  “Phony doctor performs liposuction while smoking cigar. “Doc, shld u really be smoking while operating?” “Shut up fatso it helps me relax!””

And how did all that cocaine get up in here anyway?

December 26th:  “Kobe Bryant wants to reconcile for sake of kids. He wants to teach ’em math. $280 mil from basketball – $140 mil from divorce = reconcile!”

I dunno, $140 mil still buys a lot of strange.

6 hours ago:  “Iran set to stone woman to death for adultery. That’s not fair. Over here, adulterers are given a starring role on ‘Two & A Half Men!’”


Okay, let’s rate Lisa’s tweets.  Solid stuff, lots of material and responds to fans.  (I had to cut some out.)  I give her an 8 for Style, an 8 for Insanity and an 8 for Mustness.  That’s an overall 8.  You gotta follow Lisa.  She’s funny.  Have you not seen the roasts?  If you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.