Super Frat

It’s time for the Rewritten News, with your Rewritten News Anchor, Tony D! Why read the news when you can just skim the headlines?

Real: Evidence Links Iran to Foiled Assassination Plot

Rewritten: Obama Hopes Bombing Iran Will Get Him Reelected

Real: South Africa Artifacts Indicate a 100,000 year-old Art Studio

Rewritten: Archaeologists Find Where Cavemen Got High

Real: Occupy Wall Street Braces for Showdown

Rewritten: Hippies Prepare for Beating, Irony Lost on Free Country

Real: Can’s Non-Traditional Strategy—Unlikely Too?

Rewritten: Crazy Pizza Man Continues to Boost Media’s Ratings

Real: Netflix Attains the Rights to CW Network Shows

Rewritten: Netflix to Overcharge Customers for Gossip Girl

Real: Arizona School Objects to Cheerleaders Breast-Cancer Shirts

Rewritten: School Against Tits for Some Reason