Cable TV news, network news, newspaper—  All these sources have been caught lying, spinning, twisting the truth.  Why waste your time with the spin, when Tony D just cuts to the chase.  Strap on your news hat, it’s Rewritten Headlines:

Real: Obama Calls for Syria Leader to Step Down

Rewritten: Obama Looking to Bomb Syria

Real: Government Will Stop Deporting Some Illegal Immigrants, Allow Some to Work

Rewritten: Government Gives Pardon to Rich People’s Servants

Real: School Violence More Like in Spring Than Fall

Rewritten: Mating Season for High School Students Cause Fights

Real: IBM Builds Working Computer Chip That Mimics the Human Brain

Rewritten: IBM Builds Computer That Looks At Porn

Real: Nigeria Launches Two Satellites

Rewritten: Country Takes First Steps to Send Starving People into Space

Real: Jennifer Lopez:  I Was Worn Down at the End of Idol

Rewritten: Famous Millionaire Thinks Life is Hard

Real: NASA Releases Video of Solar Storm Engulfing Planet

Rewritten: Holy Shit!  Universe Could Totally Kill Us!

Real: ADHD Cases in Kids Rise More Than 30% in Decade

Rewritten: Kids Think Reporters Even More Boring Than Before