An Education is a chick flick from beginning to end and there’s probably not one thing in this movie for a straight guy to want to watch.  In a nutshell, it’s a coming-of-age story about an Audrey Hepburn lookalike that is 16 and, horrors, she’s dating an older man.  (spoiler)  She and her folks (the dad played by the very capable Alfred Molina) get taken in by his charm, only to find out that he is a—

Now I was hoping for one of these:


Serial Murderer


Transforming Robot

All of which might’ve made me actually pay attention.  But no, he’s married and the poor girl nearly ruins her life, but pulls it all together at the end.  It’s so boring, I wanted to tear the screen down and stomp on it until my feet were bloody.

That’s not to say its a poorly made film.  The sets, the acting, the dialogue and even the direction are fine.  But this is the kind of story that would’ve been fine as a one-hour drama or a movie on lifetime, maybe.  As a play, it probably would’ve been okay.  For the big screen, you’re just heightening my expectations.  I can’t help but think, “You spent millions of dollars on this?!”

And in the end, all we learn is that young girls make mistakes and even in 1961 you can fix them.  So I felt like I had invested all my time in this character, only to find out she’s not as smart as advertised and then it all didn’t matter anyway.  So why did I pay $10 bucks for this?!  Oh, yeah, the Missus wanted to see it.

Bros, there’s no boobies and no action.  It has clothes, romance, father-daughter relationships, mother-daughter relationships and a woman overcoming adversity.  Stay away, stay far away or bring a pillow.  Either that or tell you’re girlfriend you’ll meet her in the lobby while you sneak into a showing of Paranormal Activity.  I wish I had.

I give this movie 1 kegger out of 10, but only because the lead actress is pretty cute.  I am way too desensitized to see a movie like this.  Did I make my bias obvious enough?