sf-chris-avatar.jpg with Chris Moreno

Every Thursday, Chris Moreno lists individuals whose behaviors have been so deplorable that they should eat a dick.

— The Polk County undercover drug officers who raided a drug dealer’s house and then spent hours playing his Wii Bowling game should play a little game I like to call “Eat a Wii Bawling”.

— To the Queensland state health officials who wrote a document encouraging Australian doctors to drink coffee to work longer shifts, I prescribe a steady diet of dick for 30 days, or until conditions improve. Please see the receptionist about the bill.

— The Pennsylvania man who fired his replica cannon and hit his neighbor’s house should eat the barrel of my replica “love gun”. For those about to chow– FIRE!

— A Melbourne, Florida man pretended to be retarded in order to trick the caregiver he hired into changing his diapers as part of his bizarre fetish. He wants to act like a baby, he should get treated like a baby– by getting force-fed a dick whilst sitting in a high chair. Here comes the airplannnne…!

— And finally, for flooding the airwaves and interwebs with their shitty, immature divorce theatrics, Jon and Kate should both eat a dick. We can even make a reality show out of it– “Jon & Kate Plus 8… Dicks”.

Think someone needs to eat a dick? Email suggestions to dicketer@gmail.com or post in the message board.