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Nov18

Twitter in Focus: Neil Patrick Harris and Brooke Hunter

by tonyd on November 18, 2009 at 1:04 am

Hey bros:

Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die.   This week we take a look at the brand new twitter account of Neil Patrick Harris and, since he only has a few tweets, Brooke Hunter, porn star.  It’s been a while since we had a porn star on TIF and since they are popular as well as celebrities, I say have your cake and porn too!  Let’s get right to it with NPH.

November 16th, 5:02pm:  “My first tweet, peeps. I apologize in advance for my slow learning curve. Nice to (sort of) meet you. It’s amazing how quickly 140 charac”

Okay, but you only get to make that joke once, Neil.

November 16th, 8:05pm: “Felicia Day is popular. She mentions me and Twitter and Kablammo! http://yfrog.com/15aklrj”

You’re a fast learner, NPH.  Look at you twit piccing already.

November 16th, 11:11pm: “Holy Pete, so many responses! Thanks, gang! I’m still trying to figure out which button does what..! And this 140 character limit is craz”

Dammit, Neil!  I said once!

12 hours ago: “‘Morning. Reading backlog of responses and sipping coffee. How many times should one tweet per day? BTW this character limit hokum is pis”

But without it, it would be a blog.

11 hours ago: “Prfkt. Thx 4 L th advyc evry1. This s a way ezr way 2 cmuNik8. Un42n8ly, itz takn me 3 hrz 2 ryt, but itz much pre4d 2 gtn cut off lyk i u”

This has got to be the fastest learning curve in social networking history.  I give him three days before he’s completely bored with this.

5 hours ago: “On set. Best guest star EVER! The entire cast/crew was super stoked. No one more than me: http://yfrog.com/0w5ostj”

On the set tweets are the best, dude.  That’s where you should be tweeting from.

3 hours: “Ok. So. Now that I’ve figured out this 140 character stuff, get this – Tim Gunn bursts out of his room, walks right up to me and says, “Ne”

Dammit Neil!

2 minutes ago: “Alright, alright. I’m done with the ‘140 character’ running gag. Sorry, it makes me laugh. But as my wise father Ron always says, “Know w”

You’re beating a dead tweet, Neil.

Okay, that’s all Neal has posted so far.  Typical newbie on Twitter.  Fascinated, twitting like crazy.  Enjoy it now before he gets bored.  Neil’s rating is a bit unfair.  Don’t think he quite hit his stride yet, but I have to give him a 7 for Style,  6 for Insanity and 8 for Mustness.  It could be a tweet to watch.  That’s an overall score of 7.  Not bad for Dr. Horrible.

Now, onto today’s pornstar.

Brooke is apparently of the MILF pornstar variety.  Nice.  I gotta say, I like my women with a little more experience.  Let’s see how she tweets.

March 28th, 10:44am:  “waking up having coffee. Happy Saturday!!!”

Whoa, this goes way back and so few tweets.

March 30th, 8:28pm: “On my way home!!! Great day at AIM – Keeping the Adult Industry STD Free!!!!”

Hey, an activist pornstar.  That’s new.  You keep that ‘gines clean, Brooke!

April 24th, 7:55pm: “Still at the office but getting ready to start the weekend!! and FYI I was at the first Laker Playoff Game Woo Hoo GO LAKERS”

Pornstars have offices?  That must be one wild office supply cabinet.

September 3rd, 12:20pm: “Supporting Dicks sporting goods. They refuse to sell Michael Vicks jersey!! Call them to support this. 866-677-4771”

She’s involved in all sorts of movements.  When does she have time to take off her clothes and film her casual sex with strangers?

September 3rd, 12:25pm: “Time to open the AIM clinic. Come in and get tested.”

They have a clinic just for pornstars?  Hmmm.  That address could come in handy to know, bro.  I mean, having sex with a pornstar sounds risky, but if they’re walking out of that place, that’s much safer.  Someone should open a bar across the street.   You could call it, “Testees'”.

October 30th,  8:45pm: “A Big Thanks to all of the Adult Industry for Supporting AIM Healthcare, Help keep our doors open – Donate at www.aim-med.org xoxox Brooke”

Remember, you can’t have MILF’s and GILF’s unless pornstars live long, healthy lives, bros.

November 2nd, 9:11pm: “Finally!! Freeway here I come. If I can manage to not get hit by another jerk!!! How do you get in a front end crash while stopped ?”

That, uh, doesn’t sound good, Brooke.  You’re driving on the right side, right?

November 2nd, 9:53pm: “Yeah something else to do while driving”

Ah, now I see the problem.

November 15th, 1:14pm: “Going to visit my friend Kylie. On our way dear see you in a few!!”

*google-google-google*  Dammit!  Too many pornstars named “Kylie”.  It could be anybody.  Either way, I’ll bet the visit is hot.

November 16th, 12:00Noon: “Monday, really? Already? Good morning fwy.”

The freeway doesn’t get tweets!

Ack!  Brooke, we appreciate all your hardwork for STD-free ‘gine, but you’re a pornstar for Christ’s sake!  Give us a little sexy detail now and again.  What are you wearing?  How many girls did you make out with at lunch?  Something!  You are not tweeting at maximum potential.  Oh, well, let’s rate Brooke.  I give her a 4 for Mustness, since she rarely tweets, a 5 for Style because of her good works and a 6 for Insanity because you have to be pretty nuts to be in porn.  That’s an overall score of 5.  Not great, but at least she’s not going to fill up your twitter page with senseless stuff.

That’s all for TIF this week, bros.  If you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.

Comments Off on Twitter in Focus: Neil Patrick Harris and Brooke Hunter
Nov14

Frat Boy At the Movies: 2012

by tonyd on November 14, 2009 at 3:49 am

What the fuck is this?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Are you fucking kidding me?  WTF?!  WTF?!  The fuck is this?!  John Cusack?  What the fuck are you doing in this movie?  Roland Emmerich?  What the fuck is this?!  WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!  Are you fucking kidding me?

Danny Glover?!  Danny Glover?!  What the fuck?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Woody Harleson?!  Fuck!  You’re fucking kidding me!  What the fuck is this?!  What da fuck?! Fuck!

And George Segal?  George Segal?! Really?!  George Segal?!  What the fuck am I seeing?!  What the fuck is this?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!   Giant boats?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  What the fuck is this?!  What the fuck am I watching?!  Ahhhhhh!  What the fuck?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  What the fuck is this?!  Fuck!  Why am I watching this?!  What the fuck is this?!  Roland Emmerich!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!   Ya gotta be fucking kidding me!  You’re definitely fucking kidding me!  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Are you fucking kidding me?!

Africa?!  Africa?!  What da fuck?!

└ Tags: 2012, Frat Boy at the Movies
5 Comments
Nov14

Tony D’s DVD Reviews in Haiku: Death to Smoochy

by tonyd on November 14, 2009 at 3:36 am

Jon Stewart’s one film.

Kid show hosts battle it out.

Redemption at end.

└ Tags: Death to Smoochy, Tony D's DVD Reviews in Haiku
Nov14

Frat Boy At the Movies: Couples Retreat

by tonyd on November 14, 2009 at 3:30 am

The above picture shows you pretty much the best part of Couples Retreat.  There are some hot girls in it, but that’s about it.  There is no nudity.  The plot is predictable, silly and based on a whole lot of coincidences you won’t overlook by the end.  It feels an awful lot like the kind of movie a group of Hollywood buddies would make as an excuse to spend a few months in paradise, while getting paid obscene amounts of money.  This is what I get for letting my girlfriend—  Sorry, fiance’ now, pick out the movie.  In her defense, there really wasn’t anything else to see and she refused to go see Paranormal Activity.

So, Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn are in it, in kind of a lame, married version of Singles, while Justin Bateman and the hot chicks above all collect a pay check.  Basically, the couples are all friends, one is about to divorce, the husband comes up with the plan to go to the retreat, but can’t afford it unless the other couples go in for a group rate.  There’s the fat guy with the 19 year-old girlfriend, (spoiler) who miraculously meets his wife at the end.  Jon F and the chick from Sex in the City are cheating on each other, but somehow come together in the last ten minutes in a really cliched scene.  Vince is happily married, but has his marriage “tested”, but it’s lame.  And Justin Bateman and that hot chick from Forgetting Sarah Marshall have a loveless marriage because they can’t have kids, but don’t worry, the last ten minutes solves everything.

Also, French guy from The Professional is in this for some reason.  I’m sure it was a nice vacation for all.  Not so nice if you’re sitting in the theater struggling to stay awake.

Here’s a list of things that I would’ve rather done than see Couples Retreat:

eat a sandwich

walk the dog

fall off a ladder

hit myself with a hammer

get mugged

forget where I parked, walk the whole parking lot in the rain

have a milkshake poured down my back

eat a live crab while it pinches the sides of my mouth on the way down

smash all my plates

dance in traffic

take my pulse and announce it to a room full of strangers in a funny accent

I’m sure I can think of other things.  Fortunately for you, Couples Retreat is almost out of the theaters, unfortunately it is bound to be on DVD soon.  Promise your girlfriend (or fiance’) anything and avoid it like the plague, bros.

I give Couples Retreat a 1 out of 10 keggers.

└ Tags: Couples Retreat, Frat Boy at the Movies
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