Your Fratoscope: March 3, 2019
on March 3, 2019 at 12:01 am
If your birthday is this week: You’ll discover that the bakery will make a birthday cake out of Mac and Cheese if you ask.
Aries: This week, you’ll lose a political debate with you cat and he voted for Trump.
Taurus: The stars say, you should stop using cough medicine as a drink mixer and a body lotion.
Gemini: The ice cream truck driver will weep openly when you mention that you’re going on a diet.
Lemini: Your Olympic try out is a failure, plus it turns out riding a skateboard and holding onto a moving pick up truck isn’t an Olympic Event.
Cancer: You will meet the woman of you dreams, but unfortunately, all you ever dream about is getting beat up by Courtney Cox.
Leo: You’ll eat pizza so old, it has dust on it, but it’s still not that bad.
Virgo: Your Facebook page will remove you to get someone more interesting to run it.
Libra: Your attempt to posting something about McDonald’s to get a free burger backfires so bad, you’re beaten by a clown.
Scorpio: Your public sexual escapade is under appreciated and they are forced to replace the balls in the ball pit.
Sagittarius: You will meet your doppleganger, but he’ll decide to replace someone who has their shit together instead.
Capricorn: The guy that keeps mugging you will finally ask you out.
Aquarius: For some reason, everyone at the nudist colony will keep buying you pants.
Pisces: You’ll find Waldo and he’ll give you $10,000 not to tell anyone.
