Dec03
Ten Things I Expect During the French Riots
on December 3, 2018 at 12:52 am
- Police beat protesters with baguettes instead of batons.
- Starbucks burned down, but wine shops left untouched.
- Abandoned berets all over the street.
- Despite chaos, rioters still have time to look down upon American tourists.
- Riots stop every 15 minutes for smoke breaks.
- Police forced to break out emergency wine and cheese during long shifts.
- Despite violence, everyone shouting in French still sounds cool.
- Military confused about who to surrender to.
- Locals so worried, they call their families and mistresses to make sure they’re safe.
- Somehow everyone smells even worse.
