Ten Things I Expect Since U.S. Life Expectancy Has Fallen
on December 12, 2016 at 12:01 amBad news. Life expectancy in the U.S. is falling. Here now are Ten Things I Expect now that we’re all going to die.
- Jackass version of the X-Games.
- Fried long pig added to McDonald’s menu.
- New reality show based on The Purge movies.
- Curbside corpse pick up included with trash pick up.
- Futurama to license suicide booths.
- Donald Trump to be re-elected.
- Soylet Green shakes served in restaurants instead of water.
- Lots of people to say, “Fuck recycling.”
- Texted wills totally legal.
- Finally, traffic dies down.