Dick Chair

Our pledgemaster, Indestructible Dick, may not know Math, Science, English Literature, History or any other class he’s taken, but he knows what is Fratty.  Stand fast, bros.  Your pledgemaster is about to bring down judgement upon you!

Blueberry Seltzer:  Awesomely Fratty

Wow, where has this been all my life?  Vintage makes a whole rainbow of flavors and blueberry is the absolute best.  I’m trying to drop some pounds off of my fat ass, so this is a good option.  Plus it mixes well with vodka.

The News:  Not Fratty

Jesus Christ, no one everyone is out playing Pokémon Go.  Who the fuck could stand another minute of watching the world go to Hell?

Ghostbuster Fans:  Kinda Fratty

You know, I’m no fan of reboots, but I gotta hand it to Ghostbuster fans.  They really stuck it out and gave the movie a chance.  While I don’t agree with them, it’s been a long journey.  I tip my hat to them.

Pokémon Go:  Pretty Fratty

Wow, a video game that makes people move around?  I’ve never seen anything like it!  People are walking all over campus and even that park where the bums sometimes jump people.  Unbelievable.

Windows 10:  Not Fratty

This fucking program.  What is up with Microsoft?  Do they have a special division to piss off their customers?  It downloaded into my God damn computer without me doing shit!

Bernie Sanders:  Not So Fratty

Dude, WTF?  You spend months criticizing Hillary and now you endorse her?  Talk about lame.

French Batman:  Totally Fratty

Some ballsy dude jumped into the truck that ran over people in Nice, France and slowed the driver down!  Holy shit, dude!  You gotta pair more indestructible than mine!