RewrittenNewsDeskWerewolf

CNN Prepares for GOP Circus of Windbags

USA Today Tells You Want to Think

U.N. Official to be Ignored and Probably Fired

Newspaper Shills for Politician

Pao Gets Trolled IRL

U.S. Dollar to Collapse

Not All Cocaine Users Thin

Cute Kitty to Eat Your Face Off

Hamburglar Wrecks

Happy Husband Picks a Winner

Stalker Wins One