Super Frat

Our pledgemaster may have failed more classes than most students take, but…

Ah.  Shit.  Thought I was going somewhere with this.

Oh, well.  It’s time for Fratty or Not Fratty.  Your pledgemaster speaks!

End of Breaking Bad:  Pretty Fratty

It’s really nice to see a show end before it starts to suck.  You just don’t get much better than the run of this series.  If you missed it, it’s time to get Netflix now.

Space X:  Sorta Fratty

Commercial Space Travel?  Hmm, call me when it’s the same as international waters.  I don’t know if I can gamble and get drunk in zero-g.

Politics:  Not Fratty

Was there a time in the world where you didn’t hear about politics and politicians every fucking day?  I’m glad I failed Poly-Sci.  To protest!

Cookie Butter:  Fratty

It’s like peanut butter only not healthy.  It’s like spreadable cookie dough.  Great on cookies.

Video Pop Up Ads With No Off Button:  Not Fratty at All

What the fuck, the Chive?  I realize that there’s overhead in bringing me high quality pics of cleavage and strange single chicks I’ll never bone.  But when it’s 3am and I’ve inadvertently left the volume on my computer, I really don’t need to be blasted by an ad for Axe Body Spray “somewhere” on your God damned page.

The Chive:  Usually Fratty

Except the aforementioned pop up ads, it’s pretty good.

Drinking Outside:  Not as Fratty

Don’t get me wrong, drinking is always pretty Fratty.  But drinking outside can lose its allure.  At least in the frat house, our rugs are pretty chill and even waking up across the hard wood steps is better than sand on an ant hill.  Just sayin’.

Complicated Beer Bongs:  No Longer Fratty

Okay, it was fun for a while.  I mean, to see what people would come up with.  But when you’re standing there with some kind of tube in your hand and the resident beer bong maker is pouring Natty Light into his giant funnel a can at the time, I can get a little impatient.  I’d like to be drunk now, please.  Just give me a damn pen and I’ll shotgun it.

Beer Pong:  Still Fratty

Ah, I look forward to the new league this year!  So many new recruits with fresh livers!

Zach Galifianakis:  Kinda Unfratty

Look, I know it’s sorta cool to hate Justin Beiber.  I’m no fan, but doesn’t Galifiankis have any better targets than him?  Seems like Zach could aim a little higher than a pop star a lot of people already can’t stand.

GTA 5:  Fucking Fratty!

I have a boner just thinking about this game.  So sweet!