When it comes to movies, they’re so expensive these days, I’d rather stay home and watch Regular Show.  But if there’s a good movie, I’ll see it.  But I have to be choosy.  Here now are the movies I’m not seeing and why.

Lee Daniels’ The Butler:  Sounds super boring.  Any movie that can be show to a high school history class, I’m sure I’ll stumble upon one random Sunday on TV when I’m looking for something to watch.  Pass.

The Mortal Instruments:  City of Bones:  How many more versions of Twilight and the Hunger Games are there?  Hollywood trend ending in 5…4…3…

You’re Next:  You know, there’s a big difference between a movie that’s scary and a movie that portrays a lot of horrible murders.  I suspect this movie is the latter.  If I want to see a lot of gore, I’ll just go to r/WTF on Reddit.

One Direction:  This is Us:  I’m not a 14 year-old girl, so pass.

Insidious: Chapter 2:  Eh.  How good can this be?  Maybe it’s because I don’t believe in ghosts.  If ghosts can harass you, why don’t they just kill you?

Battle of the Year:  Let me tell you something about dance movies.  I hate them.  I hate the dancing, I hate the music that they dance to—  I hate it all.  But I especially hate modern dance movies because they are all the same fucking movie.  Some chick who wants to dance, add forbidden love and some kind of dance contest—  Boom.  Movie.

I would rather be the target in a World’s Most Dangerous Game scenario for two hours against the characters from You’re Next than see this movie.  To see this movie, I would have to be dating some chick at supermodel level status to sit through this.  I would rather jump into a pit of live bees naked that see this flick.

I don’t want to see it.  Understand?  I won’t.